


New beginnings

by sunshine_and_rainbows



Series: Starting over [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Will, Divorce, Doctor Will, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, detective Nico
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 11:10:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 34,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20208775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshine_and_rainbows/pseuds/sunshine_and_rainbows
Summary: Will is a promising surgeon, in a new town, ready to start his career and life. But what happens when what he always thought he wanted suddenly doesn't seem right? And what will happen to his already failing marriage when a hot, snarky, ridiculously handsome, detective shows up, bleeding all over his examination room and trying to bite his head off?A human AU Solangelo story (with grown up characters) about dealing with life and love. It contains mild angsty themes like divorce, failing to live up to expectations and how to cope when things don't turn out the way you planned. But it is also a story about falling in love and realizing what you want out of life.Rated M for language and adult themes/discussions (like divorce, infidelity, implied sexual themes etc). Nothing explicit though.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, of course. And my apologies to Rick Riordan for stealing his characters and making something completely different out of them... (but I do love Solangelo in any shape or form)
> 
> I also don't know the first thing about surgery, working in a hospital, as a detective or anything else like that. So sorry about any unrealistic renderings or mistakes in that department...

The first time Will Solace met Nico di Angelo, he knew he was screwed. Even though the man was cursing like a sailor on crack, was bleeding all over his office and had an expression of utter fury on his face, he was absolutely, without a doubt, the hottest guy Will had ever seen. Like, swooning and dropping his clipboard-hot, weak in the knees and sweaty palms-hot, meeting his eyes and almost fainting from the electric shock-hot.

The nurse had warned him before he went inside the examination room and almost snorted with sarcastic laughter when she realized he had yet to meet detective di Angelo. “You’re the new doctor, right? Good luck with this one, you’ll need it” she said. And she would turn out to be right. Although, she probably hadn’t meant it like that. Di Angelo’s partner, detective Ramirez, also warned him on the way in. “Try not to piss him off too much and you’ll probably survive” she said and gave Will a small pat on the shoulder.

“Dr Solace will be here any second…” he heard a nurse say before she stuck her worried face out of the room.

“Ah, about fucking time…” di Angelo huffed when Will stepped inside, a bright smile on his face. It would probably just trigger the guy, but that was how he greeted all his patients. 

“You must be detective di Angelo?” Will said cheerfully.

“You think?” the detective huffed, but Will didn’t stop smiling.

He could see what they had warned him about. Detective di Angelo had “don’t fuck with me” written all over him. Everything from the messy black hair, tied back in a tiny ponytail, the pale skin and his pitch black eyes to his leather jacket, tattoos and the weapons he was stashing everywhere screamed “run away”. And he was in a bad mood, that much was for sure. But Will was a professional after all, he was used to dealing with everything from rape victims to crack whores and he had seen and heard it all. His only problem so far with di Angelo was the way the guy made his knees weak just from looking at him. That, he wasn’t used to. And it made him question both his sanity and his usual ability to stay calm and professional in any given situation. 

“I’m doctor Solace, how can I help you today detective?” Will said in an overly chipper tone, just to mess with the man. He couldn’t help himself.

“You can let me out of this fucking hellhole and let me get back to do my job…” di Angelo scoffed. Ah, one of those, Will thought and nodded.

“Ok, so let’s have a quick look then. What seems to be the problem?”

“The problem? The problem is that there’s a raving lunatic with a Beretta running wild in the city threatening people, and I’m stuck in here…”

“You know this will be over much quicker if you cooperate, right?” Will cocked his head a bit to the side and gave the detective a small smirk. He didn’t seem to have a good comeback for this, which Will counted as a win. Instead he took off his jacket, revealing the source of the bleeding. There was a bullet hole in his shoulder, but no exit hole on the other side. It didn’t seem like it had hit anything vital, but damn, that must hurt. Will didn’t know if he was going to be impressed or disheartened by the way the detective had the energy to sass like that when he had a bullet stuck in his shoulder.

“Okey… So can you feel this?” Will asked and touched some nerve points around his shoulder. The detective just nodded. Everything looked ok so far. It would be a simple operation to get it out.

“So, will you please just take that damn thing out and stitch me up so I can get going already…?”

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll be working anymore tonight detective… this needs surgery...”

“The hell it does doctor. You take a pair of pliers or what not, you pull that damn thing out of me right now and stitch it up or I swear to…”

“Now, no need to call to higher deities detective…” Will interrupted him with with a tiny pat on his other shoulder that earned him a real death glare. Will could see his partner shudder behind di Angelo’s back. 

Ok, so no unnecessary touching with this guy.

“Look, you’re new here so I’ll let this slide for now. But you don’t tell me what to do and when to work if you value all of your body parts, ok?” detective di Angelo scoffed. 

Will put his hands up in defence. He had had difficult patients before, but this guy… Jesus. Although Will also knew a lost cause when he saw one. He could probably pull the bullet out if that was what this guy needed. It wasn’t like he could force treatment on anyone anyway.

“If you say so. But it will scar if it’s not done properly…” Will tried half heartedly.

“Oh, the horror…” di Angelo said dryly “my perfect skin…”

“Allright, let me give you some anesthesia first..” Will ignored his sarcasm and started calling for the nurse but the detective shook his head.

“Nonsense, we don’t have time for that shit. Besides, I’ll need my arm to not be numb ok? Just do it goddamnit…” di Angelo said through gritted teeth and Will shook his head, but realized that protesting wasn’t going to lead him anywhere. 

Di Angelo must have had the highest pain tolerance Will had ever witnessed. He hardly winced as Will pulled the bullet out and cleaned the wound. As he started to do the stitches he grunted a bit.

“Sure I can’t get you anything for the pain?” Will asked.

“If you could have given me something before I got shot, I might have agreed. It can’t be much worse than that, just keep fucking stitching, ok?” 

Will just shrugged and went back to work. He couldn’t really argue with that to be honest. 

“You know, that fucker screwed up my new tattoo… damnit” di Angelo suddenly cursed, looking down on the bullet hole that was sitting in the middle of a pattern of skulls and flowers that was flowing across di Angelo’s chest.

“How rude…” Will said sarcastically and he could almost see the detective’s lips twitch a bit. “Well, at least he hit an eye, it could’ve been worse. A skull tattoo with a bullet hole in the forehead, I don’t know… I hear it’s a bad omen.” 

“Yeah, I’m a lucky guy, alright…” di Angelo said sarcastically, but Will could see something twinkle in his eye. When they were finished, Will actually got himself a small nod and half a smile from detective di Angelo, which did funny things to his insides. His partner raised her eyebrows, looking impressed. 

And this is when Will knew he was screwed. 

.oOo.

The second time Will met detective di Angelo, he dropped a forty pound kettlebell and barely missed his own foot. It was only a week after their first meeting when di Angelo walked into the gym with his partner, wearing nothing but a tank top and a pair of short track shorts. His hair was tied back and his hands were wrapped in tape as the two partners headed for the sand sacks. _ Holy fucking shit, that body… _ He was all lean muscle and the way the sweat was running over his sculpted arms and the tattoos… _ Jesus Christ _, why did they have to share a gym with the police force? This was torture… Will gulped and picked up his kettlebell again, trying hard not to stare, but it wasn’t easy. His partner wasn’t bad looking either, but she wasn’t really Will’s type. And next to di Angelo, anyone would have faded into the background.

“So, who are you ogling there…? Him or her?” his colleague and friend from way back when they were interns, Cecil, smirked at him. Cecil was the one who had gotten him the job in the hospital, and the only one he knew in this town except for…

“Better not let Katie catch you though…” Cecil smirked and Will blushed scarlet.

“What? I wasn’t… no, really… it’s not like that. Honest. I stitched that guy up just the other week, he shouldn’t be down here punching things.” Will tried, hoping to save face a bit. Not that he was ashamed about looking at other people. Honestly. A man was allowed to look, right? And the cop was probably straight anyway. He knew for sure Katie didn’t hesitate to check hot guys out on the beach and Will never complained. Only, there was something about di Angelo that made him feel like he was cheating on his wife just by looking. Like, looking at this him was the gateway to heavier drugs, like touching… kissing… having him panting on top of… _ Oh god, shut up twisted brain! _

“Whatever you say man…” Cecil snorted when Will still couldn’t rip his eyes away. 

Will tried to go back to his routine, but he had a hard time concentrating. He was talking to some of the interns over by the watercooler when he heard someone curse behind his back.

“Dr Solace… there’s something wrong with these stitches…” detective di Angelo was glaring on him from under his bangs with those anime eyes that made Will’s mouth go dry, blood trickling down his shoulder where three of the stitches had come undone.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I forgot to make them foolproof…” Will managed to say, and gave di Angelo a small wink. Because he was obviously a masochistic idiot who couldn’t stop flirting if his life depended on it. (And it actually might, this time, so… Fuck.) 

Di Angelo was totally dumbstruck, which was priceless, and his partner cracked up behind his back.

“Oh, you’re funny too…” he replied dryly, flipping his partner off casually, gaze fixed on Will. 

“Seriously though, I would have told you that you don’t box with fresh stitches on your shoulder, but… I like most of my body parts, so…” Will shrugged, and took a swig from his water bottle. 

The detective was still glaring at him, like he was wrecking his brain for a good comeback, but Will was on a roll.

“I could, of course, offer to stitch that back up for you, you know? But I’m sure you’ve got it under control…” 

Di Angelo measured his gaze for a few seconds before he snapped. “I’ll hit the showers, I’ll be in your room in half an hour…” he huffed and turned on his heels.

“I like you Solace…” detective Ramirez gave him a pat on the back and almost a smile before she turned around and followed her partner.

After that day, it seemed like Will had passed some kind of test, and di Angelo now greeted him with a small nod and sometimes a “Dr Solace…” when they met in the cafeteria that was located between the hospital and the police station, or when they ran into each other in the corridors. Unfortunately (for Will’s mental health) the team di Angelo/Ramirez were regulars in the hospital. Either one of them got hurt, or they came in with some bad guy or some victim, that needed to be patched up and interrogated, in tow. Somehow, it seemed to always be Will who ended up on those cases. Sometimes, he flattered himself by thinking di Angelo might be asking for him specifically. It couldn’t just be a coincidence, right? 

But mostly, he tried to repress such thoughts. Or any thoughts that went anywhere near the gorgeous detective. They were dangerous and certainly didn’t help him solve his problems with Katie. Because those weren’t getting any better as time passed. Somehow Will had hoped that new jobs and a new town might get them out of the rut they seemed to be stuck in lately and offer a fresh start. But so far, things only seemed to get worse. He had long hours at the hospital, and he made new friends instantly. He had Cecil and his best friend Lou Ellen, who was another colleague of theirs and whom he instantly connected with, and others on the staff who were really nice people. Katie had gotten a job as an art teacher, and Will was really happy for her. He loved his wife, after all. He truly did. At least in some way… Only, she got sucked into her job too, meeting colleagues and new friends. And suddenly, they had nothing in common. Before, at least they had their friend group to bond over, but now, it was like they were drifting further and further apart, and to his horror, Will found that he really didn’t miss spending time with her. 

He felt awful about the way his feelings for Katie seemed to be dying, all of a sudden. He didn’t want to lose her. Although if he was completely honest with himself, the main problem was probably that he didn’t want to lose their life; the one that they had planned since they got together Senior Year in High School. Now, he found himself pulling away, avoiding contact even, and Katie was becoming more distant too. Fuck… this was bad. And daydreaming about a certain dark bad boy with tattoos, dark molten chocolate eyes and lean muscles wasn’t helping much.

.oOo.

The first time Will saw detective di Angelo in a suit, he almost had a heart attack. Wasn’t there someone you could sue for letting too gorgeous people running loose on the streets like that?

He was invited to some big charity gala hosted by one of the donors to the hospital and Katie, for once, had actually been excited to join him. He should probably be happy for that, but somehow he only felt bitter. Sure, now he’ll do when she can dress up in a pretty dress, meet rich people and the high society of the city, and he can be her arm candy and/or trophy husband. Ok, he was exaggerating a bit, perhaps. But sometimes, it was like Katie wanted to be the wife of dr Solace, promising surgeon and good looking husband (yeah, he knew he looked good, objectively. It wasn’t even anything he cared about that much. But he knew…) more than she wanted _ Will _. When they met, and even in college, he hadn’t actually noticed how superficial she could be. Most of their old friends were like that, and Will had always been the outsider. Now though, having made some really great, genuine friends like Cecil and Lou, he felt like she was the odd one out and sometimes he could almost feel ashamed about her when she was talking about stupid stuff like fashion or interior design or celebrities. He didn’t even know if her passion for art was genuine anymore, or if she was into it for the kudos and the reviews…

Well, anyway, there they were at the boring gala, making small talk with boring people, when a familiar voice greeted him from behind. _ Fuck… _

“Dr Solace…” Nico di Angelo gave him a curt nod and seemed to be waiting for introductions. Will’s heart made a double take and he instantly noticed three things. 1) Nico di Angelo looked fabulous in a suit. His shoulder length hair had also been neatly combed and styled, instead of his usual ponytail or sexy man bun. He looked… beautiful. _ Wow _ … 2) He wished he hadn’t brought Katie. Fuck, why did he have a wife hanging on his arm…? 3) di Angelo, too, had a really beautiful girl by his side. She had milk chocolate skin, cinnamon curls and a sweet smile. Will wanted to kick her. _ What the fuck was he thinking? Get a grip, Solace… _

“Detective…” Will managed to plaster a megawatt smile on his face. It was perhaps a bit over the top, but he needed to hide the urge to scream. “Detective di Angelo, this is my wife, Katie Solace…” he introduced them and di Angelo was suddenly a real charmer, greeting Katie with a smile and a kiss on her hand, which made her blush a bit. Fuck him. Why didn’t Will get a smile like that…? He introduced the girl, who looked like she must be at least four or five years younger than him, as Hazel LeVesque, but didn’t say who she was. 

“So, what brings you here detective. Should we be worried about an attack?” Will gave him an almost flirty smile and raised his eyebrows. He honestly didn’t know what he was thinking, but it was probably good that he kept it up anyway. Di Angelo would have been suspicious if he turned all cold on him just because his wife was there. Hopefully, he would think it was just his way of being (which was partly true to be honest). 

“I hope not… No, I’m not on duty tonight I’m afraid dr Solace. Or, at least not that kind of duty…” he said and actually blushed a little.

“Don’t be so modest Nico, if you’re going to almost kill yourself every month, you shouldn’t be ashamed of reaping the benefits…” Hazel said, nudging him in the side, but he just looked down and grumbled a bit in response.

“Nico is receiving an award for his services to the city; it’s for when he infiltrated that gang of drug dealers who had almost half the high school kids in town addicted to the new party drug...” she continued.

“It was before your time, Solace.” di Angelo pointed out, as if he wanted Will to know he didn’t mind him missing this story. 

“Wow, that’s impressive, I’m sure you must be proud of him…” Katie said, turned to Hazel and Will didn’t miss the flash of… what was it? anger? resentment? dancing across his face before he composed himself again.

“Yeah… I mean, it’s just lovely how he tries to kill himself all the time.” Hazel responded a bit sarcastically, but then she turned to Nico “You know, for someone who claims he fears nothing, it’s funny how accepting a reward on a stage can get you all shook up like this…” she almost snickered and Will though she must either be really brave or he was really whipped. Nobody else would have dared to tease the detective like that… 

“Thank you Hazel, I think we’ll be going now before you ruin my reputation completely…” di Angelo said, giving his girlfriend (?) a glare and started to make his way through the crowd to Will’s relief (and disappointment). 

The dinner was probably nice, Will didn’t really remember. He zoned out again, listening to di Angelo making a small speech as he accepted his award. It was really sweet, the way he looked all shy and modest, while he tried to convince everyone it had been a team effort and he only accepted the medal if it could be on behalf of all the force etc. The people around Will didn’t seem to agree, though, and Will soon realized di Angelo had quite the reputation, and not only for being rude and sarcastic. No, generally he was known as one of the bravest most talented cops on the force. _ Of course, he has to be a fucking hero too, the bastard… _

After dinner, Will found himself alone for a while. Katie was chatting with some rich people, probably trying to butter them up for donations to the art department she was working in and Will had drifted in the direction of the refreshments. Suddenly, di Angelo’s cinnamon haired companion drifted up to his side and started to make conversation. He cursed himself internally, he really didn’t want to get to know the guy’s girlfriend. She seemed nice enough, but there was something about her that Will didn’t like. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Not until she asked the question that gave their relationship away.

“So, dr Solace…” she started.

“Oh, please, call me Will…” Will interrupted politely.

“Will… I hear you have done a good job patching up my brother on more than one occasion…” she said with a small smile and Will almost dropped his drink. _ Brother _… Shit, that explained their loving banter alright… Will was almost sure the room lightened up a bit and a slight ease of the pressure over his chest that he hadn’t even been aware of before. Suddenly, Hazel seemed so much nicer. And Will instantly knew what had bothered him about her. Jealousy.

He did manage to compose himself quickly, he deserved kudos for that…“Yeah, he’s almost turning into a full time job...“ he chuckled. But after that encounter, he knew he was in trouble. Like, really in trouble. It’s one thing to ogle a hot guy, and another to want to make your wife disappear and kick a possible girlfriend in the shins...

.oOo.

The day Will started to really get scared of Nico di Angelo, he was eating lunch in the cafeteria with one of the more seasoned nurses and two of the new interns when he spotted the detective coming in, and he was instantly lost in thoughts about the way Nico’s tight, black jeans really left nothing to the imagination. How could he even move properly in those? It was like they had been painted on...

“Oh my God, will you stop ogling the guy…” 

Will was abruptly ripped from his reveries, tearing his eyes away from the hot detective. A feeling of panic was creeping up in him along with the blush on his neck. Damn, he was so busted. It was really unprofessional of him to stare like that. But, to his relief, nurse Linda turned out to be talking to the two new interns who were making googly eyes in di Angelo’s direction too. It was no surprise, naturally, that Will wasn’t the only one in the hospital who found the guy attractive and he had seen both girls and guys swooning in his direction before. Right now, he was just immensely relieved he wasn’t the one who was caught staring…

“But he’s sooooo hot… what’s the problem anyway? Can’t a girl look?” one of the interns, Veronica, sighed.

“Sure, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work you can stare until you’re ashamed of yourself, but last time he was at the hospital taking a statement from that rape victim, you forgot to save the files you were working on and she didn’t get signed in properly…” nurse Linda snapped and the other girl giggled.

“I don’t think anyone is complaining about looking, it’s when you’re drooling in your food that it gets a bit disgusting...” Veronica’s friend Emma snickered.

“And look who’s talking - you’re the one who has memorized his training schedule and is stalking him in the gym…” Veronica huffed.

“Oh, come on, you’re just jealous because I’ve actually talked to him. And do you know how hot he is all sweaty in his gym clothes…” Emma sighed. 

“Girls girls… you know he’s not worth to start a fight over, right? It’s not like one of you stands a chance anyway…” nurse Linda huffed and shook her head a bit patronizing, like she was talking to two kindergartners who were fighting over a toy in the sandbox.

“What, why shouldn’t we? Is he seeing someone? At least he doesn’t have a ring, so it should be fair game…”

Nurse Linda chuckled a little and looked at them with pity. “Oh, girls… No, as far as I know he doesn’t have a steady partner. I don’t think he dates to be honest. But if he did, only one person around this table would stand a chance, and he’s happily married already if I’m not mistaken…” 

Will had chosen exactly the wrong moment to take a sip of water, right before what Nurse Linda said sunk in, and he choked violently, having to hide his face in his elbow to prevent spitting water all over the table, his face flushing violently. Luckily Nurse Linda misunderstood his reaction as embarrassment that she’d insinuated something that wasn’t true about him. Normally, he wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality, but this didn’t seem like the right moment to bring it up...

“I’m sorry Dr Solace, I didn’t mean to drag you into this cat fight, I just couldn’t help myself…”

“But, but...what?” Emma was still gaping, completely uninterested in Will’s reaction “Detective di Angelo is_ gay? _Are you sure?” she asked incredulously. 

“But...he’s so… masculine…?” Veronica protested, making Will almost want to throw something at her for being so prejudiced but Nurse Linda just gave her a dry laugh.

“Yeah, why don’t you go over an ask him? Say, _ Hey, you look like a real man, so you can’t be gay, right? _It would be funny to watch him punch you in the face…” Linda suggested.

After that, Will zoned out a bit. He just couldn’t get a grip on this new piece of information. It was not good. Not good at all… Having an embarrassing crush on a hot, scary straight dude who you didn’t stand a chance with was annoying, but still safe. He may have been pining a bit but he hadn’t suffered pangs of conscience about it. It was like crushing on a moviestar, it would never happen anyway. And usually, Katie only thought it was funny when he was crushing on guys. Like if she didn’t believe his bisexuality was something that might ever lead to any serious feelings. In fact, she seemed to think it was only a sexual thing, and not emotional. It was a bit ironic, because Will was pretty sure he was actually maybe leaning more towards men generally. Perhaps even 75/25 if he was honest with himself. And still, Katie was jealous as fuck if he ever looked too much at a particular girl, but just giggled and took part in his ogling if a hot guy passed by them. It might have been because she didn’t really think he had a chance, the majority of men were clearly straight after all. And to be fair, that had been his own excuse to drool over the detective too, so it wasn’t that far fetched. But now… he was suddenly a temptation. He would have to question his own intentions every time he was talking to the man. Oh, God. This was bad.

.oOo.

The first time Will actually talked to Nico for real was probably the day he fell in love, although he didn’t admit that to himself until much later. 

When Will walked into the pub at the corner, down the street from the hospital, his only plan was to have a burger and a beer by himself, just because he didn’t feel like cooking, and then go home and watch Game of Thrones. Katie was gone over the weekend and he had mostly planned on working and catching up with tv-series she didn’t like. Which, to be honest, was just about all the ones he liked. At first, he had thought about asking Cecil or Lou, but they didn’t work his shifts this week, and he was actually looking forward to being home alone, doing what he wanted without the depressing sensation of being alone although he had company…

As he entered the bar, he spotted detective di Angelo sitting by himself at the counter, staring into a glass of what he assumed was whiskey, while swirling around ice and amber liquid absently. It had been almost a week since Will had seen him. Truthfully, he had been a bit freaked out and had actually avoided the dark beauty, for his own sanity. But now he saw no way around talking to him without seeming rude. 

“Detective di Angelo…” he greeted him with a smile, because, yeah, he just couldn’t stop. To his surprise, though, di Angelo sighed a bit and gave the chair next to him a small nod, like an invitation to sit down. And Will did, before he could overthink it.

“Please, call me Nico, I’m not on duty tonight…” he said and tilted his head pointedly in the direction of the glass in front of him.

Will then did something really stupid, he took Nico’s hand and shook it, like they were meeting for the first time. And he felt sparks flying, making his knees all weak and his cheeks heat up _ Fuck… _

He cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. “Oh, in that case… Hi, I’m Will, it’s nice to meet you…” he grinned, and quickly turned to the bartender to order a beer and a veggie burger with fries. 

“Veggie burger?” Nico asked, raising one eyebrow.

“Oh, well… I’m trying to cut down on the meat you know. It’s not healthy…” Will shrugged.

“Unlike fries and beer then…” Nico deadpanned. 

“Touché” Will smirked “What can I say, I’m a weak man… but I chose my poison well...”

“So, what brings an honorable man like yourself to a shady place like this on a Friday night?” Nico asked, as Will took a swig of his beer.

“Well, I didn’t know it was that shady to be honest… lucky I met you here if I need protection then…” Will said with a wink, and instantly wanted to punch himself. _ Can you be any goddamn more obvious you idiot. _But Nico luckily seemed to miss his flirty suggestion. Instead he sighed heavily and turned back to his glass.

“I’m sorry Solace, but I don’t know if I’ll measure up to much of a hero today…” 

“Bad day, huh?” Will asked sympathetically and Nico nodded.

To Will’s surprise, Nico actually started to tell him. They had gone out on an alarm but had been too late to save a young girl from being raped and while his partner (Reyna was her first name, Will learned) had taken care of the girl Nico had tracked down the man and beaten the shit out of him, something he wasn’t very proud of. It had gotten him suspended for a week, but he didn’t object. Will asked to see his hands, and insisted on dragging him into the bathroom and cleaning his wounds and putting a bandage on them. Cecil may tease him relentlessly for being such a nerd, but right now he was glad he always carried a first aid kit, he was really not in the mood to go back to the hospital. 

They ended up talking for hours about the ups and downs of their professions. Will confessed to having a hard time with losing patients too and he could relate to Nico’s feeling of failure when he didn’t manage to keep his feelings out of his job. 

If Will had thought seeing this more vulnerable side of Nico would make him admire the man less, he had been wrong. He felt like his heart had grown about three sizes during their conversation and it insisted on pounding madly in his chest whenever they locked eyes for a little too long. Finally, it seemed like Nico wanted to go back to keeping it light, and Will was actually relieved. This deep connection they were forming was a bit too much. Too dangerous. And Will couldn’t help but wonder if Nico felt it too…

“So, what are you going to do with all your free time…?” Will finally asked when Nico had started going back to light banter and cracking jokes. Will was on his probably fourth beer and the food was long gone (Nico had eaten most of his fries). 

“I don’t know… tonight I’m just going home to sulk I guess. Tomorrow, I’m going to get wasted. And make sure I get laid I think…” the raven haired man said with a mischievous grin and Will choked a bit on his beer. Somehow, this statement was making the air between them crackle with tension. Will realized Nico had probably meant it as a joke, but he couldn’t possibly have missed Will’s wide eyes and pink ears and he was probably scared Will would take it as an invite or something because he quickly added.

“What Solace, do you doubt I can score?” in a very sassy tone and Will instantly found his voice again.

“No, I’m sure you won’t have a problem… I’m just slightly envious...”

Fuck... so he had found his voice but nothing good was coming out of his mouth. 

“Hm, I thought you were married Solace…?” he tilted his head a bit to the side and gave Will a cocky grin. They were treading on dangerous grounds now…

“Yeah… doesn’t necessarily mean you get laid all that often…” Will huffed and flicked his eyes briefly in Nico’s direction and he could see the other had lost a bit of his sassy grin. Obviously he could put the pieces together and Will scolded himself._ Stop talking right now, idiot… _ Nico was quiet for a little too long, like if he was considering what to do with this piece of information before he evidently decided on cocky again.

“Well, there you go. I knew there was a reason why I refuse to settle down…” Nico said smugly and Will just shrugged. He didn’t trust his mouth not to ruin his life anymore…

That weekend, he thought about little else but Nico di Angelo. He daydreamed about the long, deep conversation they had shared that had increased his respect for the detective tenfold and had brought them so much closer together. He couldn't help lying awake at night thinking about what Nico did to get laid. Was he seeing someone? Or did he pick them up at some bar? What kind of guys did he like? What was he like in bed? His vivid imagination pictured this last image quite clearly, causing him a lot of trouble actually. The kind of trouble he hadn’t had since he was fifteen and which made him need to wash the sheets in the morning. He would have to lie to Katie and tell her he had spilled coffee in bed or something if she asked why he had changed the bedlinen…

Katie didn’t ask though. She came home quite late on Sunday evening, and Will pretended to be asleep. Katie didn’t wake him up or kiss him or anything either, she just crept quietly into bed, as far away from him as possible. 

It was definitely a new low for them.

.oOo.

The first time Will met one of Nico’s exes was the first time he had felt like hurting another human being. It was not one of his proudest moments. Far from it. 

Will had just gotten off a shift and was walking into the coffee shop two blocks down the road from the hospital. He knew he should go home and sleep, but for some reason he decided to stop for breakfast first. (The reason being, perhaps, that he would miss Katie if he did. She would be getting to work in half an hour or so.) His heart skipped a beat as he spotted Nico di Angelo inside the café, accompanied by his sister, Hazel. Will’s face lit up bright like the summer sky at the sight of them and he walked over to say hello. Ever since that night in the pub, Will had been on friendly terms with Nico, and the two of them usually stopped to exchange a few sentences whenever they met.

“Good morning Nico… Hazel… Nice to see you again.” he greeted them, smiling.

“Solace…” Nico gave him a small nod. This was their new normal, since Nico had suggested they be on a first name basis. Will greeted Nico with his given name, unless he was being sarcastic or a bit annoyed, and Nico didn’t seem to mind, but he rarely called Will anything other than Solace. It was like if he himself didn’t dare crossing that line, for reasons unknown. Or he might do it to everyone, it wouldn’t surprise Will the least. At least he had dropped the Dr...

“Will… hi… I almost didn’t recognise you…” Hazel said cheerfully, giving him a quick once over.

Ok, so he had only met Hazel three times before, one time in a suit at that gala and two times in the cafeteria when she had been meeting Nico for lunch, and both of those times he had been in scrubs. He could relate to the fact that it was hard to imagine what people in the hospital dressed like when off duty, but he didn’t think he looked that spectacular. He was wearing a pair of faded, ripped blue jeans and a bright pink t-shirt with some washed out black text printed on it. He didn’t even remember what it had once said. He had sneakers and a pair of sunglasses pushed up into his blond, probably rather messy, curls. Perhaps he was more colorful than the black suit or mint green scrubs she had seen him in before? But that was just the way he preferred it when it was up to him. Nico probably hated the way he dressed, he thought a bit deflated. Will really liked Nico’s style. He thought all the black was hot somehow. On Nico, that is. But he himself had never felt comfortable dressing like that. He had tried it during some brief trying to be cool-phase in high school, but he was quickly back to surfer’s shorts or blue jeans and bright shirts. 

They exchanged pleasantries and small talk for a couple of minutes, and Will was just debating whether or not he should ask if he could join them when Hazel’s eyes narrowed as she stared in the direction of the door. 

“Not that you really deserve the heads up, but trouble at six o’clock…” she said a bit dryly to Nico, who had his back facing the exit. The man shot one quick glance over his shoulder and cursed. 

“Damn, did he see me?” he hissed at his sister.

“Don’t think so…” Hazel said. “Not yet…”

“Ok, I have to go to the restroom. Solace, why don’t you take my seat…??” he said in a hurried tone and rose up just to press Will down in the chair, before he bolted in the opposite direction from the door. 

“Coward…” Hazel muttered after him. 

Will raised a questioning eyebrow at Hazel who just shook her head. “Don’t ask… just… play along. Unless you want to piss Nico off, that is…” she sighed. 

“Hazel? Oh my God, is that you?” 

A voice suddenly exclaimed from behind Will, and a man around Will’s age, possibly a couple of years younger, came up to their table. He was so obviously gay Will had to bite down a small chuckle. He was rather scrawny and not that tall; probably shorter than Nico and more than half a foot shorter than Will at least. He was wearing extremely tight, expensive looking low cut jeans with a broad belt and a short sleeved shirt with a flower pattern (or was it a blouse?) tucked in to his pants. His auburn hair was trimmed in an undercut with the longer hair on top neatly combed back into a stylish wave, exposing a couple of studs in his ear, one of which had some kind of stone in it. He wasn’t bad looking, far from it, but in Will’s opinion, it looked like he tried a bit too hard. Like, he probably spent more time in front of the mirror every morning than Will did in an entire month. Katie would have loved having him as her gay best friend to talk shoes with... 

“Mitch… Long time…” Hazel said, smiling pleasantly. The guy named Mitch bent down to kiss Hazel on both cheeks, european style, before he turned to Will with an appreciative nod.

“And who’s your _ very _ handsome friend here?” he asked with a flirty smile on his face. “Don’t tell me you and Frank…?” he raised his eyebrows.

“No, no… this is dr Solace, he works in the hospital… He’s just a friend of Nico’s… We, um, ran into each other just now actually.” 

“A doctor, huh…?” Mitch said, looking both impressed and a bit suspicious as he shook Will’s hand. “...and by friend, you mean…?” he narrowed his eyes a bit looking between Will and Hazel, his chipper tone replaced by an insecure one. _ Oh. So that’s his deal… _

“Oh, you can call me Will” he smiled cheerfully “Me and the detective are more of acquaintances really. He comes in and bleeds all over my office and curses at me once every month or so...”

“Sounds like my Nico alright…” Mitch chuckled and Will felt like punching the guy. “So you two aren’t…?” he asked, raising his eyebrows again, like he just wanted to make sure. Jesus, did this guy ever finish a sentence? 

“What?” Will played innocent and ignorant for a bit before he snorted out a rather false laugh that he hoped Hazel didn’t see through. “Oh… you mean? No, God… I’m a married man. You met Katie...” he commented in Hazels direction and she nodded affirmative. It wasn’t like he was lying. He wasn’t saying he was straight, he was just implying it, right? He wanted this guy off his back, that much he was sure of.

“Oh, sorry… I just had to check…” Mitch was back to his chipper self. “I mean, how could I have competed with this guy, huh?” he nodded in Will’s direction and winked. “And a _ doctor _ too… I bet you could make a straight guy swoon dr Will...” Will had to fight down the urge to bite back with some snide remark. He did not like this guy. Like, at all. First of all, only kids ever called him dr Will. What did he think? That it was charming to act like a five year old? And the way he talked about Nico like a piece of meat up for grabs, it was just horrible. 

“So, speaking about your _ lovely _ brother…” Mitch now turned to Hazel, evidently deciding that Will was a lost case, not deserving further attention. Will could see the way Hazel almost rolled her eyes but caught herself last second.

“Yes Mitch, dear? What about him?”

“Where is he hiding out? I mean, I’ve called him at least ten times in the last month only, and I was so worried I even went by his apartment a couple of times. But it’s like the earth swallowed him whole… I don’t understand…” Mitch sighed, making pathetic puppy eyes at Hazel.

“Oh, I don’t know Mitchell. I think he’s fine. I mean, I talk to him at least once a week…” Hazel answered with a bit of pity in her voice.

“So, you’re saying he’s avoiding me…? I knew it! But I mean, I just don’t get it. I know he says he doesn’t date, but one single mistake and he just gives me the silent treatment like this? Is that really fair? I drop the L-bomb on him once, and bam, he wants me out of his life? Honestly?” Mitchell whined.

“I don’t know Mitch… I’m not his keeper sweetie. You’ll have to sort that out with Nico…” Hazel said sympathetically and patted his hand.

“Well, that’s a bit hard when he’s avoiding me now, isn’t it?” he huffed, folding his arms. “Do you think he’ll come around if I give him some space?”

“I honestly can’t say Mitch… but… if I were you, I wouldn’t wait around for that. Perhaps you should move on before he just hurts you again? There are plenty of great guys out there you know…?” Hazel tried. 

It was around this point that Will didn’t feel like hearing it anymore. He didn’t want to be around this annoying, needy pretty boy anymore. He definitely didn’t want to hear that Nico was a heartbreaker or that he had treated someone wrongly. He also didn’t want to know anything about his old flings or lovers. Will suspected that part of why he disliked this guy so much was just old fashioned jealousy. The poor guy probably didn’t deserve Will’s disdain. But Will still didn’t want to hang around, and he didn’t think Nico would appreciate him being there asking questions when he came out of his hiding place. 

“So, I’ll have to be going now… It was nice to meet you Mitchell _ (not), _Hazel, always a pleasure…” he stood up and gave the two of them a curt nod before he got ready to leave.

“Oh, I’ll be leaving too… thanks for the advice Hazel, darling…” Mitchell suddenly chirped, trying to sound carefree, probably. 

_ Fuck… _

Will made a frowny face at Hazel but she just shrugged apologetically and mouthed _ sorry _behind Mitchells back. 

“I’ll just grab an extra coffee, for my wife… Have a nice day...” Will lied in a chipper tone and got up to the counter. He did need coffee, and perhaps a bagel, but for himself. And he needed to shake this Mitchel person off, so it was a win-win, and Will felt pleased with himself.

The feeling didn’t last long though. When he stepped outside the auburn man was waiting for him at the corner. _ Oh, great… _

“Hi again, sorry… I just thought I could walk you to your car or something?” Mitchell said and Will couldn’t think of a way to refuse him without sounding completely rude so he just shrugged. He didn’t have a car though, since he lived just two blocks away from the hospital so he started walking.

“So, I just wondered… Do you maybe know if Nico met someone else? I can’t bring myself to ask Hazel…” the other man continued.

“I have no idea. Like I said, I don’t know the detective all that well. It’s not like he talks to me about his love life…” Will answered, which was the truth.

“Oh… But does he ever mention me?”

“He doesn’t really mention anybody. We never talk about personal things” Will said, which wasn’t completely true, but those things didn’t involve relationships. And, also, it really wasn’t his business.

“Hm… I just feel like he has met someone you know? I mean, he never wanted to commit to anything and this freezing me out if I get too close isn’t exactly new either. Only, he usually comes back for sex from time to time at least. Now, I’ve heard nothing from him for over two months, almost three actually. I mean, it’s impossible that Nico would go that long without sex, he’s at least sleeping with someone else...” Mitch huffed.

Will groaned. He did not need to know that… And why was this guy, whom he didn’t know at all, even telling him all this stuff? He should go see if there is an Oversharers Anonymous or something. And did he say almost three months…? His heart started beating a little faster thinking about it. Almost three months was about as long as he had known di Angelo for. Coincidence, right? 

For some reason, when Will didn’t answer, Mitch took it as encouragement to keep talking.

“I know Hazel thinks I should move on, but it’s just so hard you know? Nico’s just… one of a kind really. And he may be grumpy and a bit unromantic, sure, but he’s the most amazing lover I’ve ever met. I mean, the sex is just… wow… should I really just let him go?”

And this was when Will really got fed up with this strange conversation. He did ** _not _ **need to know this. 

“Let me be honest with you Mitchell, I don’t know anything about di Angelo’s love life, nor do I really want to. I have a strictly professional relationship with the detective. He’s being kind of private so far, and I don’t think he would appreciate us having this conversation…”

He did manage to shake the annoying little man after that, but naturally, he could think about little else than how good Nico supposedly was in bed for the rest of that day. Or week, really. When they met the next time in the hospital, none of them mentioned the meeting with Nico’s ex though, even if Will assumed Hazel had told him about it. At least he didn’t know that Mitch had been stalking him to spill his guts about Nico’s accomplishments as a lover… That would probably have made things a bit awkward between them. 

.oOo.

The day Will realized his marriage was probably going to be hard to save, Nico di Angelo had starred in one of his very erotic dreams once again.

“Who the hell is Nicole…?” 

“Wha… what? Who? “ Will woke up, startled, rubbing his eyes in confusion. 

“You were saying Nicole in your sleep…” Katie was sitting in their bed, arms crossed, and an annoyed expression on her face.

_ Fuck fuck fuck _…. Katie had heard him wrong, or misinterpreted the name, which was probably lucky. Considering the number of times she had joked about him checking out dudes (and not to mention the Paolo incident that they never ever talked about), it was almost ironic that she obviously couldn’t imagine the fact that he would have a real interest in an actual man. 

“I have no idea…” he lied. Or, he told himself it was the truth, because he didn’t know anyone named Nicole…

“Are you seeing someone else?” Katie asked bluntly.

“What? No… why would you think that? It was some stupid dream Katie… I don’t even know any Nicole… perhaps it was from some movie or something…” he half lied.

“Ok… but… you’ve also been so distant lately. I know something is wrong Will. Don’t deny it…” 

“I don’t know Katie… Do we have to talk about this right now? It’s the middle of the night…”

“So, when do you want to talk? Is this because I brought up having kids?”

A while back, they had been arguing about having kids again. Katie wanted to try, but Will wasn’t ready. The truth is that he would have loved to have children, but he didn’t think it was a good way to try to fix their failing marriage. Sometimes he almost suspected the wanting kids thing was a way for Katie to tie him down. Before they started to fall apart as a couple, she had never been interested in children, at least not in the near future.

“Well, no… but… I can’t help wondering why you’re suddenly so interested in having kids?” he questioned. 

“I don’t know Will. Why aren’t you anymore? You always used to dream about children, and now when I want to, suddenly you’ve lost interest?”

“I haven’t… but… Look, Katie. Let’s be honest ok? We’re not in a good place right now. I mean, we don’t talk, we never do stuff anymore… we haven’t had sex regularly for at least a year… I think we have to fix things between us first before we talk about kids. I don’t want to have a child just to realize we can’t make it work… A child is a big responsibility. And it’s going to strain the relationship even further if it’s not healthy.”

“So this is about sex now? Just because I haven’t been throwing myself at you lately suddenly we have problems? And what? You’re going to leave me if I don’t sleep with you three times a week? It’s not as if you’re doing much to initiate things either... ” Katie snapped, tears forming in her eyes. 

“No, god… That was just an example… I just meant… Katie… Can you honestly say that you are happy in this relationship right now?”

“I don’t know Will. I just think you’re a bit unfair. I mean, I’ve stood by you all these years when you were in med school, and I’ve moved across the fucking country with you. And now, suddenly, you’re doubting our marriage? Based on what? Lack of sex and date nights? I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, where both working full time now too… I’m sorry if I’m not the perfect wife, but I’m trying here…” 

“Oh, for the love of… It’s not like that… Damnit. Forget that I said anything, ok?” Will sighed. 

Will left for the bathroom and ended up lying alone on the couch in the living room. He was like a mess of internal conflicts. Every fucking time he tried to talk to Katie she pulled the “after all I’ve done for you”-card. It was so unfair. It’s not like he had used her and now wanted to throw her away because he was bored. Or was it? Some tiny, gnawing feeling inside told him that was exactly what was happening. But no, he defended himself. She had been the one to pull away first, not wanting to do things and not wanting intimacy like she used to. It sounded like he was a dirtbag who only wanted to get laid when she said it like that and that wasn’t true. To be honest, Will hadn’t been that interested in sleeping with her either lately. But he still did think sex was an important part of a relationship, and the lack of it was a sign that they weren’t ok, no matter who was to blame. And it wasn’t just the act itself, it was the intimacy, the way they always used to cuddle and talk afterwards. It was something beautiful, and now none of them really seemed interested in that anymore. It had to mean something was wrong, right? 

At least he wanted to try to get things out in the open and fix it. He would happily have agreed to marriage counseling, but Katie just refused to admit that they had problems. And everytime he brought it up she turned it around to being his fault. Like, because he acknowledged it, he was the one causing it. But he also didn’t know what to do. Katie was right about one thing; she had rearranged her life for him, and she didn’t earn much as an art teacher. If he left her she probably wouldn’t even be able to keep the apartment, which made him feel terrible.

He had lunch with Lou Ellen that day. She was really becoming a great friend. He had even considered fessing up to her about his stupid crush on the detective, but he didn’t really have the guts.

“So, what’s gotten you all doomy and gloomy Solace?” she asked when he had been picking at his food for five minutes straight without taking a single bite. 

“I don’t know… I fought with Katie again last night. Slept on the couch…” he sighed, shrugging slightly to show her that he didn’t expect a therapy session. 

“Ok… do you want to talk about it? Was she on about having kids again?” Lou asked. He had told her about that argument a couple of weeks ago, and Lou had seemed to understand his frustration.

“No, or, yeah… but that’s not what started it. I don’t know Lou. Sometimes I think she’s just using that as a way to fix our marriage. But I don’t think it will work. It should be the other way around, right? Like, if we can’t find the time or energy for our relationship now, what would it be like with a kid? We would just be parents…” WIll sighed again. He was sighing a lot these days, he noted. 

“Can I ask you something personal?” Lou asked.

“Sure, I mean… I’m being kind of personal here already, so why not…”

“Do you love her? I mean, not like ‘do you care about her…’ Are you still in love with her?” Lou asked and Will felt his heart sink. How was he supposed to answer that?

“I honestly don’t know… I mean, I do love her. But… we’ve been together for so long, I don’t know what ‘in love’ means anymore. You can’t expect to still have butterflies in your belly after eight years, right? How do you know if you’re still in love?” Will raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t know about butterflies, but, I mean… I’ve been married for five years now… and I still miss my wife like crazy when she’s gone more than two days, and I still can’t tear my eyes away from her when she walks out of the shower. And if I have a choice between being two places, I’d choose the one where she is without thinking twice about it. She’s my best friend and my lover in one. We talk about everything, we laugh over a bottle of wine come Friday night, and we don’t want to leave bed on Saturday before noon if it can be helped… And sure, we fight sometimes. We even throw stuff… but in the end, we talk and the make up sex makes it worth it. So… I guess that’s how I know I’m still in love.”

“Wow, that’s… Yeah, that’s not Katie and me, I can give you that much…” 

“Ok, perhaps we’re unusual, I don’t know. But think about this - if she came home tonight and said she’s met someone else, whom she thought could make her happier. What would you feel. Like not just instantly. Think about it. It could be many things…” Lou suggested. 

Will closed his eyes and tried to picture it. He would probably feel a bit betrayed. And sad, sure. Like the dream he had about them and their life would be shattered and he would definitely mourn that. But… he would probably also be happy for her. And a bit...relieved. Fuck… that’s not good, right?

“Honestly?” he said finally, almost breaking down in tears. “I… think I would be disappointed, but mostly because I’d have to give up on the dream life I’d always pictured with her. Not so much because I’d miss the life we have now…”

“Hmmm. I thought so…” Lou said, putting a comforting hand on his arm.

“Fuck Lou, what am I going to do? I can’t leave her… she wouldn’t have anyone or anything… How can I fix this?”

“I don’t know Will. You can work on it I guess. But if it doesn’t pay off, you also can’t stay with her out of guilt and build a life on old dreams. That will make both of you miserable in the end, I promise…” Lou said.

“You’re so wise…” Will gave her a lopsided smile.

“So, when we’re at it… Have you felt like this for a long time, or is it recent? I mean, hrm… does it have to do with having a crush on someone else perhaps? Or is it a more fundamental problem?” Lou gave him a small smile and Will felt like he was going to die, face turning into a tomato. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” he almost snapped at her when panicked.

“Ok, if you say so…” Lou held up her hands in defense and Will felt a bit bad. She was just trying to be a friend, but she had caught him off guard.

“That obvious, huh?” he said, deflated.

“Don’t worry… I’m good at spotting these things…. But seriously? As much as I want to support you, that’s probably not a route you want to go down either if you want to avoid heartbreak…” Lou said.

“Yeah, believe me, I know. It’s just a stupid, extremely unhealthy crush. It might have helped me turn on the light in the storage closet where we’re trying to hide our marital problems, but it wasn’t what caused them.”

“Hiding in the closet, huh?”

“Shut it Lou, I didn’t mean it like that. Bad metaphor… Katie knows I’m bisexual so it’s not like I’m hiding. But our problems were there before, just… Thinking about someone else like that forced me to think about it I guess. It’s probably a good thing that it’s never going to happen anyway. I mean, I have to sort this out with Katie first before I even consider starting something new.”

“Good, now you’re making sense…” she smiled at him. “Seriously, you know I’m here for you if you want to talk, ok?”

.oOo.

The first time Will Solace kissed Nico di Angelo was an eventful night indeed. It was the night he was almost maybe outed as well, and the night he got di Angelo’s phone number. And it was probably also the night he lost the last bit of his sanity and realized there was no turning back for him. 

Will wasn’t exactly a frequent guest at the local strip clubs. Quite the contrary actually. It wasn’t his type of scene at all, and he was a bit uncomfortable. But, one of his colleagues was getting married, and he was invited to come along for the hen party for the bride to be. It all started with a discussion in the lunch room whether or not it was discriminating or old fashioned that only women were allowed on hen parties and men on stag nights. After all, Will and Cecil only knew the bride in this case, and when the argument was made that it was because of the planned activities - men didn’t usually appreciate strip clubs with mostly guys on stage - Lou Ellen actually outed Will by claiming that he should be allowed to go then as a bisexual and she shouldn’t have to as a lesbian. Not that Will minded, or tried to hide his sexuality if someone asked, but he also didn’t know if he liked being used to make a statement like that. Nobody seemed to care much about that though, and in the end it was decided that he should come, and Cecil agreed to do so as well out of sympathy for LouEllen, and after promising not to be difficult or cringy. 

Even if Will was a bit uncomfortable, Cecil had it worse. They had entered holding hands, since no straight guys were allowed and they had decided to play it off as if they were a couple to get inside. 

“I need alcohol…” Cecil said, although he was sitting with his back half turned to the stage. The other’s mostly laughed at him and teased him for being such a stereotype of a straight guy. Will could sympathize a bit though, he didn’t like these places either, no matter what gender was on stage, so he and Cecil had a few quite strong drinks before they both loosened up and the night was looking out to actually be a lot of fun. Cecil even decided he could watch and probably learn a few useful moves to impress potential girlfriends. And it was somewhere around this stage that the night was starting to go wrong, at least for Will. 

It started with his phone buzzing with a text from an unknown number. He picked it up, curious as he was, and looked at it. And almost dropped his drink. It was from Nico di Angelo.

[From: Unknown 21:36] I don’t even want to know what you and your friends are doing here Solace, but I’m here undercover for a stakeout, so I hope that none of you are stupid enough to acknowledge us and blow our cover, ok? // NdA

[From: Unknown 21:37] And if you say one word about my outfit, you will regret it, I swear. Undercover, remember!?

Will felt his blood drain from his face. Why him of all people!? Will knew he would have a terribly hard time relaxing if di Angelo was hovering around the place. But he added him as a contact anyway and replied (after getting di Angelo’s message across to his friends around the table).

[To: Nico di Angelo 21:40] Hen party, long story… not my usual scene, I can tell you that much. How did you get my number anyways? 

[From: Nico di Angelo 21:42] I’m a detective on a case. How do you think I got it Solace?

Trust di Angelo to be able to communicate sarcasm over text, Will chuckled to himself. But two minutes later he actually spotted the man in question and he snorted out a laugh that almost sent beer flying all the way across the table. Ok, so now he knew what di Angelo meant by the threat about the outfit. Nico di Angelo was dressed in tight leather pants and a fishnet tank top, and he wore eyeliner and black lipstick and at least ten bracelets on each wrist. Nico caught his eye and flipped him off discreetly behind his back as he walked past their table with his partner in tow.

Will tried not to stare too much, but it was hard to keep his focus on the company around his table and his eyes constantly drifted in the direction of the hot detective. Nico didn’t seem to pay him much attention, which was a bit disappointing, but he also understood that. The guy was on duty after all, and probably quite focused. Will’s fingers were itching to write him a text and comment on his outfit, but luckily, he managed to sit on his hands. Perhaps he ordered a drink too many to get his nerves under control, but by the way Lou was kicking him under the table he didn’t think he was as discreet checking the detective out as he thought he was. Suddenly, his phone buzzed again and he felt his heart rush when he saw it was from Nico again. He stood leaning over the bar with the back turned to him, while detective Ramirez was seemingly having an argument with one of the guards a bit further away.

[From: Nico di Angelo 22:50] How are your acting skills Solace? We need help here…

[To: Nico di Angelo 22:51] I don’t know… decent I guess? I was in the school play in High School… why?

[From: Nico di Angelo 22:52] They are onto us… 

[From: Nico di Angelo 22:52] Evidently I don’t make a convincing gay man

[From: Nico di Angelo 22:52] Don’t comment on that if you value your life… 

[From: Nico di Angelo 22:53] I would need you to come up to me and hit on me at the bar and maybe dance for a bit. Can you do that without being a too obviously straight cringy dude? 

Will swallowed hard and felt his face flush bright red. A million thoughts crossed his mind. Should he do it? He was probably going to be able to pull off flirting with di Angelo convincingly, alright, but it might also lead to another type of disaster… Shit… But on the other hand, this was his chance to be close to the guy and play it off as an act. He showed the conversation to Lou, whose eyes went wide.

“That’s such a bad idea Will. Really, you shouldn’t do it….” she warned, but Will’s mind was evidently trying to convince itself that it was indeed actually necessary that he did this service to the community and helped the local police force if he could. 

“I don’t know… perhaps he’ll be in trouble otherwise… besides, how am I going to explain refusing? _ I can’t do it since I’m actually crushing on you for real _…?” he objected in a hushed voice.

“Yeah, ok… but… I still think this is a very bad idea. Like, right up there on the top list between nuclear weapons and peach flavoured coke…” 

“What’s wrong with peach flavoured coke…?” 

“Jesus…” 

[To: Nico di Angelo 22:55] Sure, no problem, I’ll be right over hot stuff ;)

[From: Nico di Angelo 22:56] You call me that and you lose a finger… I swear to God…

When Will got over to Nico, he decided that the best way to go about it was to really flirt with him, but a bit exaggerated so he would realize (think) that what he usually did wasn’t flirting at all.

“Hi there handsome, do you come here often…?” Will said with a bright, flirty smile, touching Nico’s arm in what he hoped was a seductive manner, as he passed him by, before leaning casually against the bar. 

“Seriously, that’s your go-to pick-up line?” di Angelo rolled his eyes, but his lips were twitching slightly. “If we’re going to make this convincing you have to stop making me laugh” he leaned in and whispered in Will’s ear. The hot breath on his neck and slight brush of di Angelo’s lips against his ear gave him goosebumps all over the place. He hoped Nico didn’t notice. 

They stood leaning against the bar, talking and flirting, for a good twenty minutes. Will bought Nico and himself a drink and they kept brushing against each other, leaning in for little touches that made Will’s heart race as the sparks flew between them. He wondered if Nico felt it too, or if he really thought it was just a very convincing act. Will was both in heaven and hell at the same time, which was very confusing indeed. It was like heaven because he could pretend this was real, and he _ was _ incredibly attracted to the dark haired man who was now holding a hand on his hip in a rather possessive way. But he knew it would end in a disaster probably worthy of the darkest pits of the underworld sooner or later. And he would have a hard time forgetting about this any time soon, making his reality seem all the more boring. Fuck… 

  
He couldn’t help wondering though… Sure, as an undercover cop, Nico was probably used to acting and being convincing in situations worse than this. But could he control his bodily reactions as well? Will couldn’t help noticing how Nico’s pupils were blown wide and his chest seemed to flush a bit pink when Will traced his fingers across the detective’s muscular arms and bit his lower lip while he gave the man his best bedroom eyes. 

“Come on, now I think it’s time to hit the dance floor” Nico suddenly said, interrupting the tension they had been building up between them. Will didn’t really know how long he could have kept his poker face. The urge to kiss those pink pouty lips was getting almost irresistible…

As it turned out, dancing didn’t help much. Will tried to keep a bit of distance at first, since he didn’t want things to become embarrassing. He almost panicked thinking about how humiliated he would be if di Angelo noticed an embarrassing erection on his part. But Nico obviously was dead set on making Will’s life miserable. He took one look in the direction of the guard Ramirez had argued with earlier, and pressed his body flush against Will’s, throwing his arms around the taller man’s neck. 

“He’s watching like a hawk the bastard. We’ve got to step up the act a bit… remember, we’re drunk and horny and we’re in a strip club, ok?” he whispered in Will’s ear and the blonde almost winced a bit. _ Yeah, that about sums my situation up at least… _ he thought to himself, but his arms moved on their own and wrapped themselves around Nico’s waist. Will was using almost all his focus to think about things that would turn him off. _ Car crash victims… Little annoying barking dogs. Rotting flesh _ . But it was hard not to notice the warmth from Nico’s muscular body pressing against his. His almost naked torso with those extremely hot tattoos spreading over his shoulders and arms. God, he wanted to kiss those shoulders and trace his tongue down those biceps… _ Shit shit shit. Fatty livers, smoker’s lungs… come on Will, get a grip. _He almost managed to repress all the erotic thoughts that were flying across his mind when Nico tilted his head up a bit and whispered in his ear again.

“I’ve got an idea…Will you freak out if I kiss you?” he said. _ Yes, I most certainly will. But please do… _ “Remember, it’s for a good cause, ok? I’m sure your wife will forgive you when you tell her you helped bring down one of the worst crime bosses in town…” he continued, trying to make a joke of it but Will flinched a bit at the mention of his wife. _ Yeah, she’d be happy alright… Fuck. _ He forgot all about that instantly though, when Nico’s soft, lush lips pressed firmly against his. It felt like a rush of electricity shooting down his spine and he almost feared he would lose his balance from the way his legs got all wobbly. It was like tasting a slice of heaven. For a brief moment he allowed himself to indulge in the feeling, pretending it was real. He took Nico’s lip between his teeth, teasing him a bit, and he thought he almost heard him trying to stifle a small moan. Their lips parted slightly and Will’s tongue slipped into Nico’s mouth, battling the other’s for a few seconds. Yeah, he was in trouble alright. This was hardly necessary for a convincing act. It wasn’t like the guard was looking into their throats. What the fuck was he thinking!? He had to end this now… But he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Instead, he kept moulding his lips against the Italian’s and indulged in his intoxicating scent, the way his tongue tasted sweet and a little of whiskey, the way his soft hair felt under Will’s hands...

Finally, it was Nico who pulled away after a couple of minutes, panting slightly and face flushed. He seemed to have lost his usual secure demeanor for a moment as he looked between Will’s eyes, and there was something uncertain in those beautiful pools of darkness. 

“Well, that was convincing alright, Solace… You’d make an amazing actor…” he said, finally, like if he wanted to tell himself that was what just happened. “Come on…” he said and took Will by the hand and pulled him along across the room in a tow.

“Um, ok… what now?” Will asked uncertainty, not having a clue where they were going. He was still rather shaken up from the kiss. 

Nico dragged him into a handicap restroom.“Oh, we stay in her for say… fifteen minutes, and we come out with our hair a bit ruffled so people will think we fucked.” Nico said matter of factly, starting to type a text on his phone, probably for his partner. Obviously, Nico had decided to play it cool after the kiss but for some reason, Will was still too nervous to just stand around and wait. So he decided to tease his fake partner a bit, because as usual, he obviously had no control over his brain when Nico di Angelo and alcohol were mixed.

“Hm, fifteen minutes? You don’t have much stamina now, do you?” Will smirked, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest.

The detective whipped his head up and looked surprised for a split second, before he composed himself and gave Will a mischievous grin.

“Well, you know… you probably haven’t gotten laid for at least half a year, and if you were plugged and prepped already, I could have mercy with you and make it quick…” 

Will knew what Nico was doing, he was trying to make Will freak out, probably to hide the growing tension between them under a neat layer of humour. But Will was still a bit tipsy and only half his mind was working so he wasn’t going to let di Angelo win this round by being embarrassed.

“Oh, I don’t know… Why am I the one being plugged? If I haven’t had sex in six months, what makes me think I’m getting lucky tonight?” 

“Perhaps you always walk around like that, hoping to get lucky? Kinda sad really…” di Angelo shrugged, trying to look casual, while typing on his phone, but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“It doesn’t seem very realistic you know. I’m sure I could get laid quicker if I wanted to. And besides, I’m more of a top normally anyway, so… “ Will grinned triumphantly when Nico dropped his phone in surprise at this statement. 

“Well, duh… you’re married to a woman, your choices are rather limited…” Nico shrugged and looked back down at his device. Will almost started giggling, but caught himself last second. He could practically see the wheels turning in di Angelo’s mind. _ Bet he wonders what I meant with that… _he thought smugly to himself before he realized what he was doing and almost banged his head against the wall. Yeah, this was probably not the smoothest way to come out to di Angelo, if he ever wanted to do that, locked into a restroom after fake-making out (only it felt pretty goddamn real) on the dancefloor in a stripclub. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed today… He really needed to stop talking now before he ruined his own life.

To his own surprise, he managed to get through the rest of the evening without any more major fuck ups. He even succeeded in playing it cool when he got back to his party. Only Lou gave him a suspicious look, letting him know they would be discussing this at another time. 

When he came home, he had a sour taste in his mouth. He couldn’t even kiss Katie that whole weekend. He had cheated on his wife… True, it was just a kiss, and it was all supposedly an act. If he told Katie about it she would probably just find it funny. But Will knew that under the surface, it had been so much more than an act. It had been the best kiss of his life.

.oOo.

The next time Will met Nico drunk, he was outed, for real, and caused a small accident.

Ever since the incident at the strip club, Will had been keeping Nico a bit at an arm’s length. He felt bad about what had happened, both for Katie’s sake and for his and Nico’s relationship, and he thought they needed a bit of distance to start over as friends, or acquaintances, or whatever they had been before the excessive flirting had started. 

Because the more Will thought about it, he realized that it wasn’t just in the bar. Ever since that talk in the pub, when Nico got suspended, and perhaps even before that, they had acted a bit like something more than friends. There had been a lot of flirty banter, lingering looks and even some brief touches that weren’t really all that necessary in order to do their jobs. At first, it was exciting and a bit of spice added to Will’s life. Just a bit of harmless flirting... But after that kiss, he knew there was something more between them. He didn’t think he had felt anything near that amazing explosion of feelings even the first time he had kissed Katie. And he was almost certain Nico could feel it too. Perhaps it was just attraction on his part, but Will knew deep down Nico wasn’t as casual about him as he wanted to seem. 

Whatever it was, it scared the crap out of Will. Both because of Katie, but also because he needed to protect his own heart. Even if he left Katie, he knew nothing could ever happen with Nico. A fling would be completely unprofessional, and would only destroy their relationship. And from what he had pieced together from different conversations with Nico, Hazel and that Mitch character, Nico didn’t commit. So he pulled away instead, and it seemed Nico didn’t mind. At least he didn’t show it. This was just what Will had meant to happen, of course. And it totally broke his heart anyway.

After a few weeks, he realized that the distance wasn’t going to solve things with Katie. His bad conscience wasn’t only about flirting with someone else anymore. It was about his realization that he didn’t really love his wife. Not like that, not like he should. He wasn’t even that attracted to her anymore. Sure, she was still beautiful, but their sexlife was so seriously lacking lately, it almost seemed like too much effort to initiate something even if he was horny. It was easier to jerk off in the shower to release tension. And it wasn’t just him. He felt like she wasn’t even there anymore on the rare occasions when they did make love. Sometimes he thought she faked it just to get it over with, and that wasn’t a very comforting idea. 

One Saturday morning, at breakfast, he lost his patience. They had the weekend off, but they couldn’t agree on something to do together, it seemed. Katie wanted to go to some gallery opening that she knew Will would hate. He suggested going hiking but she just looked appalled by the idea. Movies? Too boring. Perhaps they could just eat someplace nice after doing things separately during the day, she suggested. She could go shopping and go to that gallery if Will wanted to go hiking. And then Will snapped and an argument started. He had taken the weekend off so they could spend it together, and she wanted to go shopping and meet up for some fucking expensive dinner at some boring restaurant? No way…

“Katie, we need to talk…” Will said after the argument had turned into a freezing silence that had lasted for at least twenty minutes.

“What?” She snapped.

“I can’t live like this anymore… it’s eating me up. Either you accept that we need help and we seek a counselor, or I want a divorce.” Will said solemnly. The silence lay heavy between them for a while, like a wet blanket that wrapped itself around their reality, making the breakfast table seem a bit distant. Like it had drifted into another dimension. Will felt bad. He knew the tension was building up to an explosion. But still, it felt like a mountain of pressure had been lifted from his chest just by uttering these words. He had said it. The D-word. The one he hardly had been able to think about because it made him feel like such a failure. But now that it was out in the open, he realized that was probably where this was going. It might even be what he wanted. Sure, if Katie accepted counseling, he would agree. They had made a promise to each other, and he would try to keep it. But if they couldn’t fix this, there was no way he would spend the rest of his life in the ice palace that their home had become lately. And it was definitely no environment to raise kids. 

Of course, once the silence broke, it was in an explosion. There was yelling, and tears and accusations. According to his wife, it was all his fault because he didn’t want to try to have kids. That was what had made her distant, nothing else. And he was the one who just wanted to throw away everything, after all she had done for him. And so on… And it stung, of course it did. But he stood his ground this time. It didn’t matter who was to blame initially, they wouldn’t solve this on their own. In the end, Katie rushed out and slammed the door behind her, and he called LouEllen, in tears.

He went over to Cecil’s place where he spent the day with him and Lou, watching old episodes of Scrubs and talking. Oh, and Will did do a lot of crying too, but his friends were great about it. He was truly grateful to have such amazing friends as them, and somehow he didn’t fear for himself, should his marriage really crumble. He would be ok. It was worse for Katie, he knew that, and when he told Lou and Cecil about how bad he felt, he realised they exchanged a look. One of those that told him they had been talking about him behind his back...

“What?” Will asked.

“Will… I… We know you do love Katie, in a way. And I’m sure she’s a good person deep down…” Cecil started. Will gave him a suspicious glance. He knew there was a _ but _ coming... Cecil didn’t like Katie much, it was one of the reasons they had lost contact for a while after they had done their internship together. 

“But… don’t you think there’s a possibility she’s the one using you?” Lou finished.

Will just raised his eyebrows in wonder. What were they talking about? Katie had always been there for him… right?

“Don’t get us wrong. I’m sure she loves you… or at least did at some point.” Cecil said quickly. “But… the way you have told us about her behaviour lately. It seems like she’s also pulling away and then she’s accusing you? And at least you’re trying to fix things, right? She’s just getting defensive whenever you want to talk… I mean, something’s off about that, right?”

“So what are you saying? That she doesn’t really love me anymore? But she’s in it for the money or what? It’s not like I’m stinking rich…”

“I don’t know Will… but, she certainly seems more eager to show you off in public than she does to actually do stuff with you. And you do earn much more than she does. Not to mention your salary will probably increase substantially over the next few years…”

“I don’t know Cecil. I know you never liked her much, but she’s not really like that…” Will almost snapped, getting a bit defensive. To be honest, this suspicion was one that he had harboured himself. But it had only made him feel either truly evil to be thinking such a thing, or used and stupid, should it be true.

“We’re not saying she does it on purpose - perhaps she’s repressed her feelings herself because it’s too comfortable and easy to just stay with you? She may think she’s still in love with you, but to be honest, it doesn’t seem like that from what you told us.” Lou said, and then she put her arm around him as comfort. “I’m sorry if this seems harsh, but there’s no use sugarcoating this for you. Your marriage is dysfunctional right now Will, you have to give this some serious thought and maybe get out of it while you still can, or you’re going to end up bitter and unhappy…” 

Will thought about this for a while, before he sighed and shrugged. He could see their point, and he knew that they were only trying to help him. After a while, though, he just couldn’t bare obsessing about this anymore. The truth was that he had really mixed feelings about it all. He didn’t want his marriage to fail, but he also knew that it was already happening and at least getting it out in the open was way better than the way they had been dancing around the giant, depressing elephant in the room over the last six months or so. 

“You know what guys? Let’s do something instead? I don’t feel like thinking about this anymore today… Why don’t we go out?” Will said, slapping his knees demonstratively.

They went to a bar downtown, where they met up with Lou’s wife Lacy, whom Will hadn’t even met before. She was nice, of course, and they actually had a really great time. The way Lou and Lacy looked at each other reminded Will a bit about him and Katie senior year in high school, and it only made him more firm in his belief that something was wrong with his marriage. It had been a long time since he had looked at her with stars in his eyes like that. 

When Nico di Angelo walked in the door an hour or so later, Will felt like hiding under the table. _ Of fucking course… _ All he wanted was a night out with his friends, where he didn’t have to think about the sad state of his love life, ok? Was that really too much to ask for? Di Angelo didn’t seem to be on duty tonight either. Detective Ramirez was there too, but so was his sister and a man who seemed to be her boyfriend or similar, and another couple Will didn’t recognise. They were all laughing and chatting like old friends do, and Will actually hoped they wouldn’t see them. He did not feel like getting to know new people tonight, and he did specifically not need his pathetic crush ruining his night out.

So, naturally, that was exactly what happened…

“Piper…! Oh my god! It’s been ages…” Lacy suddenly cried out and the unknown girl in Nico’s group of friends shrieked and bounced over to them, throwing her arms around Lacy’s neck.

“Lacy, wow! I didn’t know you lived here? Or are you just visiting as well?” The girl named Piper asked, giving Lacy a genuine smile.

“Yeah, moved here five years ago when me and Lou got married.” Lacy said, and introduced Lou Ellen as her wife, and also Will and Cecil as Lou’s colleagues from the hospital. 

When Piper started introducing her friends, a bit of confusion ensued as it turned out some of the first group actually knew people from the other. Will tried his best to be his normal, cheerful, self, but he didn’t know if it came over as intended. Nico looked a bit uncomfortable as well, clearly not knowing how to handle his private and professional lives mixing like this. Neither Piper nor her really handsome captain America look-alike boyfriend Jason managed to hide the wide eyes they made as Will was introduced. He could only conclude that Nico must have talked about him in some way. If only he knew what… Good or bad?

Will was actually glad to meet Frank, Hazel’s fiancé, as he really liked Nico’s sister and had been curious about her partner. He was a big guy, cute in a boyish sort of way but also really buff which was a sort of odd combination. 

Frank didn’t seem to recognize Will’s name though and he asked if him and Cecil was a couple, making Cecil spit beer all over the table, and Will laugh.

“No, Jesus… we’re just friends…” Cecil said.

“Yeah, that was funny… sorry. No… Cecil is straight as a ruler and Will is… well… still married…” Lou waved casually in their direction, making Will’s neck heat up. As good a friend as she was, she sure could be a bit thoughtless sometimes. Will did not feel like explaining “still married” right now. Piper seemed to see the annoyed flash in Will’s eyes though and quickly changed the subject. 

Will did notice Nico giving him a rather curious glance though, making his heart pound madly in his chest. Was he interested in the state of Will’s marriage? Or in the fact that Lou had only said Cecil was straight, not Will..? It was stupid, though. Nico was sort of his friend, right? Of course he would care… It didn’t necessarily mean anything.

Nothing else was said about Will’s love life fortunately. But the fact that the other party decided to join them (there’s plenty of room at this table) made him a bit uneasy. But Will soon relaxed and actually enjoyed himself. Nico’s friends were really nice, and chatty, so he didn’t have to do much talking himself. Normally, he was a classic extrovert, but this was one of those nights when he preferred listening. Nico didn’t talk too much either, but this was nothing unusual. However, Will noticed the easy way his friends joked around and teased him in a way nobody would have dared to in the hospital. They all seemed to have more respect for detective Ramirez, who Will was reminded to call Reyna, than for Nico, but it was also clear they knew her as well. 

Things actually did go well for a while, and Will found himself enjoying the company. It did take his mind off things actually, and there was a lot of laughing all around, except for Nico, who settled for smirking or his lips twitching a bit from time to time when his friends were telling old stories. But then, naturally, Cecil decided to ruin his life…

They had started to talk about relationships, as often happens when young couples gather around a table and have had a couple of drinks. Lou was oversharing about her love life as usual, making Lacy blush fiercely and Cecil was bragging about being single and sleeping around, which made Will roll his eyes and smirk. He happened to know for a fact that Cecil didn’t enjoy the single life half as much as he wanted to let on. Nor did he get laid half as often as he made people believe. 

“But I mean, why settle for one flavor for the rest of your life… doesn’t it get a bit boring? Di Angelo, you agree with me, right?” Cecil tried to argue when Lou accused him of talking about sour grapes. 

“Well, there’s alway polyamory… perhaps you could have both the security and the variation if that’s what you’re looking for…” Piper suggested, sipping her drink.

“Oh god, here she goes again…” Jason sighed. Clearly, he wasn’t as interested in sharing as Piper seemed to be. 

“Oh, no… I don’t think that’s my cup of tea... It’s hard if your both straight for starters, so I’d have to find a bisexual girlfriend. And even if you’re bi, it’s like a disaster waiting to happen. Ask Will about Paolo if you want to know what I mean…” he chuckled, and Will felt his face heat up. He noticed Lou kicking Cecil under the table and Nico kipping his glass over. It was mostly empty, but he still cursed as beer flowed halfway across the table.

“Please don’t…” Will grumbled in response to Cecil’s statement. But as much as he just wanted to crawl under the table, he couldn’t help himself. He shot a brief glance in Nico’s direction and the man still looked completely shocked. Well, at least he had gotten some kind of reaction out of the gorgeous Italian. He wasn’t neutral when it came to Will and his love life. Was that a good or a bad sign? Did he even want Nico to care?

“Sorry mate, I was just trying to make a point…” Cecil gave Will an apologetic smile, and then he tried to do some damage control. But evidently, he had not read the memo that instructed one to just stop talking if one says something stupid. Like you should just stay still if you happen to step into quicksand. Jumping around like an idiot only makes you sink lower... 

“But that wasn’t really poly though right, so it’s hardly a valid comparison? I guess it’s different if it’s just about sex… And Paolo turned out to be very much gay and only wanted to sleep with Will, and Katie flipped her shit...” Cecil snickered, but Will didn’t think it was funny at all. Especially not now, when he was almost in the middle of a divorce, and with his major crush cringing across the table… And even if they had been alone, it only made him remember the good old days when he and Katie had actually been a bit adventurous in bed. Although it was the Paolo incident that put an end to their experimental phase, and made Will pretty much succumb to whatever Katie wanted, never daring to ask for anything again himself. 

“Oh my god, just stop talking… I don’t want to talk about that train wreck right now, ok?” Will actually snapped at his friend. How the fuck was it that Cecil thought it was a good idea to bring that shit up now of all times? Will was usually known to be cheerful and good natured. Sure he could be a bit sarcastic and sassy at times, but he rarely got mad. But today his mood was already a bit on the testy side, and Cecil had really crossed a line. He did shut up after that, and things got a bit awkward for a while, but it was soon forgotten to Will’s relief, and they started talking about other things. 

Later, when he went home to crash at Cecil’s place for the night, his friend did sincerely apologize claiming he didn’t realize it was such a sore subject. Will grumbled a bit but had to confess what the real problem was. Because he realized he never actually did tell Cecil about his crush on the detective. He had only really talked to Lou about it, and evidently she hadn’t told her best friend. They sat for a long while talking and drinking tea in Cecil’s living room, just like they used to back when they were interns together.

“Fuck, Will, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to out you like that to him…” Cecil said, almost gasping.

“It’s ok… you didn’t know. I should have told you sooner. But honestly, I thought you knew… I mean, that time in the strip club…” Will shrugged. He wasn’t mad at his friend anymore.

“Shit… yeah, now that you mention it… you were never that much of an actor, so I guess I should have realized? But I just thought you found him hot… not that you actually have feelings for him?” Cecil said, totally mortified.

“Yeah, it’s a mess really… but, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to lead anywhere so I guess it doesn’t matter much what he knows or what he thinks about me.” Will sighed.

Cecil seemed to be pondering this for a while, and then he shrugged.

“I don’t know… I don’t want to get your hopes up if it’s not like that, but now that I think about it… he did seem truly shocked about the revelation that you’re bi... And it’s not like he’s going to be prejudiced, right? Perhaps it’s because he’s into you and he just realized you might be an option…?” Cecil said, taking a slow swig of his hot tea.

Will didn’t know if Cecil said this to make him happy, but the thought had crossed his mind too. He started going through all the little things. Like the flirting and touching, that mind blowing kiss that was hardly acting on either part… The way he had been shocked both by Will’s joking about usually being more of a top in the club and by the final revelation that Will was bisexual. But did Nico even do feelings? Or was it just attraction if anything at all? Whichever way, Will didn’t want to get his hopes up; he was sure Nico Di Angelo was nothing but trouble and heart break… Not that this fact stopped him from obsessing, though. And somewhere around three in the morning, when he still hadn’t fallen asleep, he finally acknowledged how fucked up it was that he had told his wife he might want a divorce not twenty four hours ago, but he hadn’t thought about her once all evening (except for when Cecil had mentioned the Paolo- aka let’s-invite-a-hot-brazilian-guy-into-our-bedroom-disaster). Instead, his brains seemed much more interested in what a certain raven haired, hot detective was thinking about him...

.oOo.

The first time Will saw Nico di Angelo cry was also the day he told his wife he wanted a divorce. 

Will had to endure a couple of weeks of mostly freezing temperatures in the Solace household after he had given Katie the ultimatum to choose between divorce and counseling. He almost found himself hoping she would refuse getting help, so he could say he tried but it was ultimately her choice. But, slowly, as she evidently understood he meant business, she opened up to the idea. Sometimes, he got the impression she didn’t want it because she was afraid what would come forth in those sessions. Perhaps she really _ was _ lying to herself and the reason she refused counselling was that she didn’t want to look too closely at her own feelings. In one way, Will could understand her if that was the case. It had been hard for him to admit falling out of love with his wife. It was against everything he believed in, and it fucked up the plans he had made for his life and everything he had been looking forward to. Like starting a family… But as hard as it was for him, at least he knew he would be ok financially. It would perhaps be a tough couple of years, when he had to pay for two apartments or the likes (depending on the settlement). But in the end, he was earning decent money already, and he would likely earn even more in a couple of years when his specialization was finished and he could get a better position. 

Katie, on the other hand, had chosen a career in the arts, knowing full well it paid crap. No doubt, she had calculated with the income of her doctor-to-be-husband when she made this choice, and she would have to add the economic stress to the sensation of failure, should their marriage not work out. And then there was the status… Will knew she loved to tell people her husband was a doctor. Yes, barely just finished, but still, a promising surgeon who many believed had a very bright future indeed. This fact, Will had less sympathy with though. He never chose this career because of status or money. He had always wanted to help people, and he had been walking around with a first aid kit in his pocket since eighth grade. 

They argued a lot about these suspicions in counseling, once Katie did agree to try it out. Mostly, it was her accusing Will though. She was accusing him of stringing her along and using her during all those hard years when he did nothing but study and study, just to have him dump her the second he was done and their life could really start. She also accused him of not being romantic enough, like never buying her presents (not that she bought him any fucking presents, but evidently that was all on him) or taking her out to dinner. They also argued embarrassingly much about whose fault it was that they practically had stopped having sex. At least, Will was prepared to admit that maybe he had lost a bit of interest (which Katie used against him, naturally) but she refused to see her part in it, which really pissed him off. She had initiated sex once in the last month, and then she had been drunk, coming home from a party at work, so it was hardly like she was trying and he was rejecting her. 

Will just got more and more frustrated the longer the therapy sessions went on. It didn’t lead anywhere, only to more accusations, and he seriously started to doubt if it had been such a good idea. Arguing and throwing accusations at one another they could do for free at home… he had been hoping for some help. Not that he had thought the therapist would side with anyone, but perhaps helping them (Katie) see the failing logic of some of their (her) arguments? Or just helping them see the other side? The only thing the expensive bastard did was suggesting obvious stuff, like trying to give each other compliments, making romantic gestures, or perhaps try to spice up their love life with some games or role play if they were in a rut? Fuck, he was like a 100 dollar an hour teenage girl magazine for Christ’s sake. He never even once asked the fundamental questions, like “Do you really love your spouse?” or “Do you actually want to have sex with her/him?” or “is there someone else on your mind?”.

That last part though, Will was kind of glad he didn't ask. Would he have lied? Or told the truth, only giving Katie fuel to her “it’s all your fault” fire? Because the truth was that Nico di Angelo was still very much at the center of his attention, most nights and days. He knew he was supposed to keep his distance if this marriage counseling should have an inkling of a chance to work, but he really wasn’t always that successful. There were ups and downs though, but they were mostly depending on Nico’s mood. Ever since that incident in the bar, when Cecil had outed him as bisexual, Nico had been a bit uncomfortable around him for some reason. Will almost suspected the man was onto him and his stupid crush. 

Sometimes, when they were hanging out with other people, he seemed to relax, and he would joke around with Will like if they were old friends. But something was still wrong. If they happened to be alone, Nico seemed a bit nervous and got distant. Will found it seriously hard to understand that man, but he still desperately craved any attention he could get from the gorgeous detective. And for some reason, it seemed he couldn’t stop flirting if his life depended on it whenever he got the chance. 

This odd tension between them was going on for some weeks, until Nico’s defences broke down completely one fateful Wednesday. It had been a rather uneventful day and Will was supposed to get off his shift when an alarm came in, and Will’s heart stopped. There had been some raid going wrong downtown, a police officer was down and they were told to prepare the trauma room for an emergency surgery. He felt himself tremble waiting for the ambulance. When Nico jumped out, looking very much not-dying he was immensely relieved at first, but then he saw his face. His eyes were stricken with pure panic in a way that Will had never seen them, and he instantly knew who was lying on that stretcher. Reyna Ramirez. 

“Please… save her…. “ Nico took Will’s hand with an almost wild expression. 

“You know we will do everything we can, Nico. And then some… I promise.” Will squeezed his hand. God, he just wanted to stay with Nico and wrap him up in his arms… But he was needed on the trauma team, so he went to get ready for the OP while Reyna was rolled inside, barely conscious.

It didn’t take too long to close the wounds and give her some transfusions, decreasing the immediate risk of her dying on them tonight dramatically. But there was a complication, a serious one, and Will could hardly face Nico when he stepped out of the OP together with the chief surgeon.

“Tell me…” Nico said, looking from Will to his boss, Doctor Mason.

“She’s stable for now, but I have to be honest with you detective di Angelo. There are some splinters of an unknown material, probably infected, close to her spine that we were not able to remove...” dr Mason said.

“So? What does that mean? Solace? Don’t sugar coat this for me…?” Nico pleaded.

“It means she’s not out of the woods Detective. And we’re not sure exactly how serious it is yet, she is being x-rayed as we speak to see if we can get rid of the splinters, and the bullets we removed are being analyzed.” dr Mason continued. Will wanted to scream at him to tell the truth, he wanted to wrap Nico up in his arms, but he could do nothing else than nod and agree with his boss if he didn’t want to lose his job on the spot.

When the results came back though, they didn’t look good, just as Will already knew they wouldn’t, and Will was sure this was the worst night of his life. It had been some new, unusually diabolic weapon, which was the reason the police had raided the shipment in the first place. But the bullets broke down internally and were made partly from a radioactive metal that would kill you slowly if all the pieces weren’t removed quickly.

“So, what are her chances?” Nico asked calmly when the situation had been explained to him.

“Well, we have to be able to remove all of the splinters right away, if we don’t want to risk her dying from radioactive poisoning” Mason explained. “And I would say the chances of success are about 50% that we can do it.”

“Ok… wow… that’s…” Nico sat down hard on a chair outside of the OP.

“And also, you should know detective… she probably won’t walk again even if we can save her life. I’m sorry…” Mason said, just sounding cold and distant and not all that sorry at all in Will’s opinion. 

“What? No… that’s…. Why? She won’t be able to live with that…” he gasped and his face turned even paler, which Will would have thought was impossible. 

“Some of the splinters are too close to the spine. We won’t be able to remove them without damaging nerves. It’s her life or her legs I’m afraid…” Mason stated unsympathetically. But he didn't know Reyna. True, Will didn't know her all that well either, but she lived for her job. She had no living family, except for a sister who joined the army and was currently MIA, no partner (except Nico at work) and no known hobbies or engagements outside of the force. 

Will knew it could cost him his job, but this was Reyna, he had to say something…

“Sir…” gave Mason a pleading look, hoping he would take reason. 

“Doctor Solace, we talked about this. It’s out of the question…” Mason shut him down before he could even speak up.

“What?” Nico looked up, hopeful and determined. “What did you want to say dr Solace…” 

“It was nothing, detective… Dr Solace is new here, you have to forgive him for the interference” Mason said, waving him off.

“The hell it was nothing. Let the man speak Mason. If there’s anything that could save my partner from a wheelchair I want to know about it…” Nico snapped, his voice cold and demanding.

Mason gave Will a condescending look, letting him know he was in trouble for sure. But the chief Surgeon had no choice now but to let him speak, or it would seem like he was hiding something (which he was, Will reminded himself).

“Well…” Will cleared his throat and gave his boss an uncertain look “There’s this new procedure… I was part of a team evaluating it in a lab environment during my studies, and on subjects who were part of a study during the first year of my residency… If successful, it may let us remove the splinters without any permanent damage to her spine…” Will said, blushing faintly.

“So, why don’t you just do that?” Nico looked incredulously at dr Mason.

“There are risks… and I don’t think it has been tested yet on real patients, besides those who have volunteered to be part of a research program. It was only just approved by the ethical committee of the university for use on real patients” Will said, trying to be fair.

The truth was that it had been very successful in the labs and in trials, but the statistical sample was too small to really draw any conclusions about the success rate. And if it went wrong, it could kill the subject instead. Will knew Mason knew that her chances were probably better, both for survival and for walking again, with the new procedure. But the problem was twofold. Firstly, they didn’t know for sure, and the hospital was more likely to get sued for trying something new and failing, than for taking the safe route, even if the patient ended up dead or paralyzed. And the second issue was that Mason wasn’t trained to do it. Meaning, Will would have to. Meaning, if successful, Will would steal his glory. But if it failed, they would all take a fall. Will would lose his job, for sure, but the whole hospital would suffer if they were sued. 

“So, what would the chances be?” Nico asked.

“That’s the problem, we don’t know and that’s why I can’t approve of such a procedure dr Solace. If you make one mistake, she won’t survive.” Mason looked pointedly at Will.

“How many of your subjects died in the study…?” Nico asked bluntly.

“Two out of ten…” Will answered truthfully.

“So, the chances are better for survival than with the standard procedure, as well as for her to walk?” Nico raised his eyebrows.

“No, that’s just it. The sample of the study was far too small to draw any conclusions… and it has never been done on a case quite like this…” Mason protested but Nico turned to Will.

“Can I speak to you in private Dr Solace?” he said and Will shot one nervous glance at his boss before following Nico out the door. Mason shot daggers at him. Yeah, he would have to find a new job alright….

“Honestly Solace, in your personal opinion, what are the chances?” Nico asked.

“Mason is right about one thing. We can’t say for sure…”

“But your qualified guess? You have to have done some math in your head…. please, tell me the truth. It’s Reyna, Will… Reyna…” Nico pleaded, piercing right through his blue eyes and in to his bare soul.

“My best guess is at least fifty-fifty…” 

“But that’s just as good as with the one that will put her in a wheelchair for sure… Why…”

“If it goes wrong, her family could sue since it isn’t standard procedure… Mason is scared to take the chance. Also, he can’t do it himself… But I swear to god, if you tell him I told you that…” Will said.

“But if it can save the patience… who the fuck cares about a goddamn lawsuit or who performs the actual surgery?” 

“Welcome to American medicine…” Will huffed cynically.

Nico shook his head in dismay, and stormed back into the room

“Do it.” he said to dr Mason.

“Detective di Angelo, with all due respect…”

“Do it, or I swear to God I will make sure she sues the ass off of you for putting her in a wheelchair… And if she dies, I will let everybody know she could have been saved if you hadn’t been such a coward…” 

“I want to point out…” Will started, panicked.

“Yeah, yeah, those were not your words Dr Solace, but I am an excellent judge of character and I can read between the lines…”

“If something goes wrong…” Mason started to protest again.

“Then I will hold a speech at her funeral telling everyone how the hospital did everything in their power to save her. And I will make sure nobody sues.” he snapped.

“But you have no authority to make that kind of decision for detective Ramirez, seeing how you’re not related…”

“On the contrary Mason, I’ll have the documents sent to you at once. I am indeed the person detective Ramirez has given the legal rights to make that decision. As she had no close relatives, she has appointed me her legal heir.” 

And that was that, Mason had no case and Will had to get ready for the most important surgery of his very short career, perhaps of his life, should he still have a career after today. Lawsuit or not, he would be fired in a nanosecond for speaking up if he failed. But that would be nothing compared to having to tell Nico he had killed his partner. He was a trained professional though, and he could push away all nervousness, all fear and all sense of panic to a special internal compartment of his brain, where it was safely stored for later. Sometimes, he thought this skill was the only thing that separated the successful MD’s and surgeons from the not so successful ones. He had had many classmates in med school who had been better than him at theory, or always were better at diagnosing cases when they were assisting. But some of them dropped out, or took an easier path, the minute they started their residency and were confronted with their first, real, life and death situation and had to make choices that mattered. Will’s secret superpower was that he could be calm as a sedated koala bear, even under extreme pressure. Thus, it wasn’t until he pulled off his bloody gloves, two hours later, that he broke down shaking and sobbing, and threw up in the bathroom as he went in for a quick shower. 

Usually, the staff weren’t supposed to handle cases they were too emotionally involved with, and had dr Mason known that he actually knew Reyna on a personal level, or that he had feelings for detective di Angelo, he wouldn’t have been allowed to perform the surgery, even if he had supervision. But he was the one on the team with expert knowledge on this specific procedure, and it couldn’t have been done without him, so he hadn’t been completely open about his more than professional relationship to the detectives. Therefore, he almost panicked as he saw Nico still waiting outside, talking to Dr Mason, as he got out of the locker room. 

It looked like Mason had told Nico and another detective the good news, no doubt trying to take credit for the successful surgery himself, but Will couldn’t care less what that jerk told people. Nico would know… And when the dark haired man saw Will, his face split up into the most beautiful grin he had ever seen, and Will knew he was going to hug him. He shook his head discreetly, and quickly held out a hand for Nico to shake, hoping he would get the message. Nico took his hand, looking slightly confused at first, but he pulled himself together quickly, and shook it formally.

“I can’t thank you enough Dr Solace…” he said politely, but Will could see the emotions brewing under his composed surface. As soon as Dr Mason had left the room with the other cop, who Will realized must be Nico and Reyna’s boss, Will was the one who flung his arms around Nico and pulled him into a tight, long hug. “I’m sorry” he said in Nico’s ear. “If Mason knew how I fe…” he almost said _ how I feel about you _ but managed to bite his tongue last second. “... I mean, that I sort of know you and Reyna outside of work, he would have my head. I’m not supposed to do surgery when involved with the patients, but there was nobody else who could do it on such short notice…” he continued. 

“I know Solace, I just lost my head for a sec… I’m just so… I’ll owe you forever… You saved her, Will, you saved her...” Nico whispered in his ear, still holding on to him and Will could feel something wet and warm running down his throat. Nico was crying. 

They stood like that for what felt like both an eternity and a nanosecond, wrapped around each other, Will drinking in the intoxicating musky, earthy scent that was Nico. He remembered it from that night in the club, only it was even better now, when he was sober and it wasn’t mixed with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. Nico muttered a throaty _ thank you… _ every once in a while. When they finally broke apart, Will’s heart was drumming madly in his chest, and he was still shaking like a leaf. Only, it wasn’t just the adrenaline from pent up stress anymore...

“I know it’s late, but I need a drink and something to eat… I’ll buy you dinner Solace, I owe you at least that much” Nico offered, only it sounded a bit like a demand to be honest. Will didn’t think he would take no for an answer, but decided it was best to protest a bit anyway, just for the sake of it.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that…” Will said “I was really only doing my job…” he assured Nico.

“Well, I insist…” he said “I know you put your job on the line Will, don’t try to deny it. I saw the look on that man’s face when you suggested it…” 

Will just shrugged. He couldn’t deny it of course, but now that it had been a success, it would probably work to his advantage so…

“So, it’s settled…” Nico smiled, but then his face fell like if he remembered something. “Unless… you have to…” _ go home to your wife _ was what Nico wanted to say of course, but he let the rest of the sentence hang in the air between them, unsaid. This led to a bit of an awkward moment, where a flash of guilt probably passed over Will’s face. He hadn’t even called Katie to say he would be late… But he shook it off. This wasn’t anything weird. It was two dudes who had been through something stressful needing a drink and something to eat. Nothing else. Right?

Will quickly shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I guess I need to eat anyway. And I could sure use a drink…” he sighed, holding out his still shaky hand for Nico to see. 

“Did you just cut my partner open with that hand Solace…” Nico smirked and lifted an eyebrow, all tension gone. Will knew he was just joking, but he still explained, just for the sake of it.

“Well, the calmer I am during surgery, the more freaked out I get once I’m done for some reason…” he shrugged.

Nico nodded knowingly. “It’s the same for me… You don’t allow yourself to think about what could go wrong until afterwards. I know. I’m just being a dick…” 

“Well, you’re lucky I like dick…” Will shrugged, before he realized what he had said. Or to whom. Normally, he would say stuff like that to Cecil to freak him out, but his brain was obviously not working well tonight. All the pressure must have made his not-showing-Nico-my-feelings-filter seriously malfunction. First the hug, the almost saying how he felt about him, and now he’s making gay jokes? What the fuck? 

Nico froze and gaped at him at first, but luckily, he was probably riding on some serious adrenaline and sleep deprivation himself, because after about two seconds he burst out laughing and Will followed. They were both still all but giggling hysterically as they made it out of the hospital and towards the Pub on the corner, where they had eaten together once before. 

“Veggie burger with fries and a lager, right? Or do you want something stronger?” Nico asked Will ask they entered, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy that Nico had remembered what he had ordered the last time.

“Yeah, make that a double portion of fries if you plan to pretend like you don’t want any and end up stealing mine…” Will teased. 

That night, they had their most intense talk ever. Nico seemed to have let all his defences down, and opened up to Will in a way he had never done before, not even that first time in the pub. They talked a lot about Reyna, and what they had been through together. Nico told Will how she had been one of the first to know about his sexuality, and had supported him as he came out in the Academy, which wasn’t the easiest place to be gay. He told her about how they had saved each other on multiple occasions, both literally in action, but also mentally when things got rough for some reason. Will had never heard Nico talk so much about himself before, and he was a grateful listener, soaking up every word, every new little secret Nico would let him in on. 

They both seemed to have let their guard down a bit regarding the growing feelings between them as well. Because by now, Will was almost sure Nico felt at least some sort of attraction to him. Perhaps it was temporary hero worship since he had just saved one of the most important persons in Nico’s life, but he almost had stars in his eyes when he looked at Will, and a constant little smile on his face that wasn’t really all that Nico-like. He held Will’s gaze for a little too long sometimes, like he was searching for something there and a couple of times their eyes met while simultaneously taking a swig of beer or putting a fry in the mouth, licking the salt of their lips, which built up the sexual tension between them to new levels entirely. Damn, if Will had only been single… he was almost sure this night would have ended with something even better than a burger and a couple of beers. 

He almost told Nico about his and Katie’s problems, and how he wanted a divorce, but she wouldn’t let him go. But in the end, he couldn’t. He had no idea how Nico would react for starters. Would he want to get involved in that mess? Hardly… And it would also have felt like cheating on Katie somehow. Like if he had told Nico in order to send a message that he might be available soon. Because in that moment, sitting in the pub with Nico, he made up his mind. It wasn’t even just about his crush on the detective. It was the fact that he never talked like this with Katie anymore. Or, to be truthful, he didn’t know if he ever had… In the beginning, there had been less talk and more fooling around. And when they weren’t, they usually hung out with friends. But even later, they had usually been talking about more trivial things, or about their plans for the future. And this intimacy was what Will longed for desperately, he realized. If not with Nico, then with someone else. The way they gradually got to know each other, peeling off layer after layer and finding new depth by letting their relationship grow.

His decision was solidified as he got home, and Katie was furious. But not because he was late; he had texted her and said that he got held up in surgery and didn’t know when he’d be back (only, it wasn’t the whole truth, by then he was already on his way to dinner… ). No, she was mad when he told her about getting to use the new procedure he had been researching. He had expected her to be happy for him; even without knowing about his relationship to the detective, it was still a big deal. He wasn’t even done with his specialization yet, but even so, he had been able to shine and use his expertise to save a life. And as mad as Mason had been before, he would definitely take Will under his wings now to be able to share the glory. Katie, however, only saw that he had taken an unnecessary risk, which could have cost him his job, without even asking her first.

“It was a life and death situation Katie, I didn’t have time to call you. Nor did I think I needed you permission to do my best to save lives at work…?” 

But Katie was just as cold and calculating as Mason had been, thinking more about the risks versus benefits for Will’s career, like the patient didn’t even matter. 

Perhaps it was his mesmerizing dinner with Nico, or the lack of sleep, the after effects of the adrenaline or something else that made him flip at Katie and refuse to put up with her shit. They argued for a while, and this time, Will screamed just as much as she did, ending it all with a furious:

“I give up. This isn’t going to fucking work Katie, I want a divorce.”

.oOo.

And then there was the day where it all fell apart again...

It started with four, small, but devastating words.

“Will, I’m pregnant…” 

The terrible truth hit Will like a sledgehammer in the head, and he felt like the world was spinning a bit around him, and not at all in a good way. _ No, no, no. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is not happening. Not happening _. He had only told Katie he wanted a divorce not even a week ago, and they had barely spoken since. He had slept on the couch for the last couple of weeks and his life, at the moment, was far from perfect. But there had been a faint hope, like a dim light at the end of a tunnel, telling him things might still be ok in the end. Katie had been angry, disappointed and upset in general when he had insisted that he wanted a divorce, it wasn’t just something he had screamed in the heat of the moment. But she hadn’t seemed heartbroken, which Will took as a sign that LouEllen’s suspicions were correct. She didn’t really love him anymore either, she was only staying out of habit, security, status or money, or a combination of those. Which meant he could fix it. He could let her keep the apartment, make sure she was provided for until she could make it on her own. She would meet someone else and she would forgive Will. Yeah, it was going to be ok. Or so he had thought. Now, that innocent little sentence had ruined everything. 

How was it even possible anyway? They hadn’t had sex for close to two months, and the last time he didn’t even finish. He had faked it and rushed into the bathroom hoping she wouldn’t notice. Before that, it had probably been another month or maybe even two. And she was on the pill, right? Or had she done what Lou had warned him about and stopped taking them without telling him? Sure, he was a doctor so he knew no means of birth control was foolproof, not even interrupted intercourse. But still, one time, without even finishing inside of her, while she was on the pill? It was too much of a coincidence unless someone up there was deliberately out to get him. 

“But… are you sure? How is that even possible Katie?” He said once he found his words, and he realized it had come out a bit harsh.

“What? You’re accusing me of cheating now too? That’s how low I’ve sunk in your eyes…?”

“Katie, I didn’t mean… It’s just, it’s been a long time since we even had sex, you know… I was just thinking the test could be wrong?” 

“I…. well… my period skipped last month, but I thought it might just be due to the stress over our marriage and everything. “ she gave him an accusing look, letting him know that _ yeah, it’s your fault that I’m not ok _. “But when it skipped again, I bought a test just in case…” she held up the evidence in Will’s face, a faint plus sign of doom clearly visible on the evil plastic stick. 

“Okay… let’s not panic…” Will said, jumping into doctor mode, to prevent himself from doing exactly that. “Those tests aren’t really fool proof anyway… I’ll make a call and you can come with me to the hospital before I start my shift, and we’ll make sure, ok?” 

“Congratulations, there’s definitely a heartbeat there Dr Solace, Mrs Solace.”

“How… how far along is it?” Will asked, voice trembling. He had to keep making conversation not to break down and cry in front of the nurse and the midwife present in the room.

“Oh, I’d say it’s about six weeks perhaps? The heart has only just started to beat, so you were lucky we could catch it I’d say.” 

“Are… are you sure? Isn’t it more like eight or ten weeks? I mean, based on my cycle and calculations…” Katie said, voice trembling a tiny bit as well.

“It can be hard to tell for sure this early on Mrs Solace, but we can schedule another ultrasound in two or three weeks, and we’ll know for sure.”

“Oh, ok… that would be great. And… please, don’t tell anyone until it’s a bit further along” Will said, feeling slightly nauseous, which earned him a stern glance from the nurse. He wondered if she could see right through him, or hear the way his mind was screaming _ No, no, no _…. right now. He felt a bit ashamed. He was a married man, he should be happy, right? That was what would be expected. 

“Of course Dr Solace, your wife is a patient here now like everyone else, it’s strictly confidential what happens in this room as you are well aware of…” 

Will was working through his shift like a zombie. Perhaps he should have called in sick, for the safety of the patients. But luckily, he didn’t have any planned surgeries since he was working in trauma today, and he didn’t get anything worse than stitching up some rather harmless cuts on his plate. And calling in sick would have meant facing Katie. He couldn’t do that right now. Just thinking about it made him want to throw up. 

Lou caught him in the break room, sitting slumped back with a coke in his hand. 

“What’s wrong Will. You look like shit…” she said, plopping down into an armchair next to him.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just peachy…. Katie’s pregnant…” he said, staring in front of himself with empty eyes…

“What? Are you serious…” she almost screamed, and then she caught herself, looking nervously around to make sure no one heard.

“No, it’s just my idea of humor you know… Such a jolly thought…” Will said sarcastically.

“But, are you sure it’s yours…?”

“Whose is it supposed to be?” He almost snarled back at her. It was one thing that Lou and Cecil were suspicious about Katie’s intentions, but accusing her of cheating was a bit low. True, the thought had crossed his mind… it was a bit odd, after all, and the timing… but he couldn’t allow himself to hope for that (What the hell? Was he hoping his wife was cheating now? He had really sunk low…).

“Sorry… I just… you just said you hadn’t had sex in ages…?”

“Yeah… it’s sort of true. But there was this one time, like two months ago or perhaps a bit less, when Katie came home drunk and horny as fuck from some exhibition thing at work and more or less forced herself on me… or, I guess she seduced me, I’m not going to blame it on her. I’ve been a bit starved too I guess, so I probably wasn’t all that hard to convince. But I almost didn’t count that. It was kind of a disaster, I didn’t even think I really got off, and it’s truly a cruel joke that not even fucking climaxing properly got me into this fucking mess.” He hid his face in his hands, almost crying again. He tried to bite it back. The breakdown had to wait until his shift was over…

“Shit, I’m so sorry…” Lou said sympathetically, wrapping an arm over his shoulders. “What are you going to do?” 

It was the terrible question he hadn’t wanted to ask himself since two o'clock this afternoon when Katie came out of the bathroom with that fucking stick clutched in her hand. But he knew there was no avoiding the reality.

“Yeah, what do you think I’m going to do? Kick my pregnant wife out on the street? I’m not a fucking monster Lou. I know what you think, but I got myself into this mess and I have to take responsibility for it…”

“But the divorce?”

“Well, that’s not happening now is it? I guess we’ll have to go back to therapy and I’ll have to really try to make it work this time, or I’ll be unhappy for the rest of my life. I was in love with Katie once, right? If I really try, perhaps I can find my way back to that… or at least we’re going to have to get along and be the best parents that we can, given the circumstances…” 

“Will…” Lou started to protest, an edge of something dangerously close to pity in her voice. 

“Don’t even say it Lou. I don’t have a choice. I’m doing this and I’ll need your support and Cecil’s if I’m going to make it work. You won’t help me by saying I should leave Katie now. It doesn’t work like that…” Will insisted, trying desperately to hide how bitter and resentful he really felt. 

Will didn’t even know how he survived the rest of his shift. Only, when he was done, he was still nowhere near ready to go home, so he decided to go down to the gym and hit something. It wasn’t his go-to form of exercise, but today he had so much pent up anger and frustration that taking it out on the sand sacks in the gym seemed like a good idea. At least better than taking it out on Katie and his unborn child. 

The tears started streaming down as he was kicking, punching and groaning out in frustration, attacking those poor sand sacks like they had offended him personally. He felt so ashamed. He had always wanted kids, and now, it only felt like that innocent little heartbeat on the ultrasound was his doom. He didn’t feel any love for it or excitement at all, which made him heavy with guilt. He even found himself thinking that perhaps he would get lucky… miscarriages before the twelfth week were rather common after all right? Fuck, he was a monster… No, he couldn’t think like this. The poor child didn’t deserve his wrath. He made a promise to himself never, ever to take his anger or resentment out on his child. They would find a way to be happy again. It had to work. Right? He was a positive guy. He was Will Solace, he could do this. 

What he couldn’t do was facing Nico Di Angelo. The man he was pretty sure he was actually truly, hopelessly, and way too deeply, in love with. So of course, Nico was exactly who the fates threw in his way just to laugh at him some more. When he saw that familiar mop of black, messy hair entering the locker room in the gym, where he still sat crying after his solo boxing match, he just wanted to die. He realized that he had harboured some small hope that maybe, perhaps, someday… when the divorce was over and he was free… perhaps something would happen with Nico? Ever since the debacle with Reyna and the dinner, Nico had opened up around him again, and he had been almost sure there was something there. Some kind of attraction or even deep affection that might be transformed into something more, given the chance to breathe and grow. Now that scenario was out of the question and seeing Nico hurt like a knife in his heart, and he couldn’t stop the stupid tears from flowing down his cheeks. 

“Solace… are you ok?” Nico had turned around, probably to find the source of the sobbing, and seemed a bit shocked to see Will sitting there.

“Yeah… no… But I will be. Don’t worry about me, things just got a bit complicated, that’s all.” He cleared his throat and tried to smile to hide the major part of his misery.

“Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?” Nico asked hesitantly, and Will knew he meant it, but also, that he hoped the answer would be no. And to be honest, Nico was probably the last person Will wanted to talk to right now. He just shook his head and gave Nico a sad look, like he wanted to tell him without words. _ I love you, but I have to stay away from you now. Far away… Whatever we have had going on between us, it has to end… I’m sorry. _

Will didn’t know how good Nico was at reading minds, but somehow, it was like he understood. He was looking at Will for a long while, boring his dark eyes into Will’s soul with a melancholy look. Like if he wanted to say _ I understand, I’m sorry too, _but it might just have been Will’s imagination. 

Finally, they broke eye contact and Will almost shivered at the loss, but pulled himself together.

“I’ll be fine Di Angelo… I just need to be alone for a while…” 

Nico just nodded, like he could understand the feeling and turned to leave. Then he changed his mind and made his way over to Will, leaning in for what was probably supposed to be a brief and friendly hug, but it kind of crumbled Will's willpower. He pulled the smaller man tight into his chest and buried his nose into his hair, for what would probably be the last time. They stood like that for a while, before Nico pulled away and gave Will a serious look.

“Just… take care of yourself, ok? If you need anything….” he mumbled.

“Yeah… thanks…” Will croaked, not even trying to hide the tears anymore. _ You, I need you, stupid… _ he didn’t say.

.oOo.

The first time Will slept over at Nico’s place wasn’t exactly like he had imagined it in his wet dreams.

It all started with Will’s trying to do what the marriage counselor had advised him since he had stubbornly decided to save his marriage - be more romantic and caring. He wanted to make this work so badly. Or, rather, he had to. As bitter as he may have been about this whole fucked up situation, he wasn’t going to be the selfish bastard who leaves his pregnant wife. Nor was he going to take it out on the baby. He had always wanted kids, after all. And even if he only felt panic and resentment at this point, he was sure he would learn how to love the child eventually. And they were going to work on this and be good parents. Not even Lou told him he should leave Katie anymore, even though she felt bad for him. He had allowed himself one more breakdown, two days after he found out, where he drank too much and wallowed in self pity for an evening, claiming that he just lost his chance to ever be happy again. But then he decided to do what he always does. Try to do the right thing, and learn to live with it. 

He had kept his distance to Nico, being very brief and professional whenever they crossed paths, and he had told Katie he was serious about making it work between them. They went back to the marriage counselor again, and Will was prepared to do whatever he suggested. Who knows, perhaps there would be a chance that he and Katie could find a way back to each other? If they had the baby to bond over? 

He had tried to get that weekend off, but he couldn’t find anyone to cover for him. Katie said it was ok though. They would have all the time in the world to spend together after all, now that he had dropped that stupid idea of getting a divorce. She actually smiled and kissed him goodbye when he left for work on Saturday morning. He tried to feel happy about that, but he just wanted to get out of there. Which made him feel bad again. On his lunch break, he decided he had to try harder and he had the brilliant idea that surprising Katie with lunch would be romantic, right? He wouldn’t have time to stay long, but he could buy sushi for her (there were sushi you could eat when you were pregnant, right? Like, the ones with shrimps and avocado). Maybe he could even buy flowers, like a good husband. Fake it till you make it.

He knew something was wrong the second he stepped inside the apartment. He heard sounds like moaning and grunting and at first, he panicked. Was she hurt? Was there anything wrong with the baby? Miscarriage? For a flash of a second it made him feel a tiny bit hopeful and then he wanted to hit himself. Hard. He was a dick, a terrible monster. He did love Katie after all, in some way, and he certainly didn’t want for her to be hurt or to lose the baby. He ran across the living room, calling her name.

“Katie, are you ok?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck….” He heard her cursing loudly from the bedroom. And when he tore the door open, his world fell apart. 

Katie wasn’t hurting at all. She was very much naked, though. So was the man in their bed. He couldn’t have been more than 21, tops, and he was hot for sure. Actually, he looked a bit like Paolo, which would have been funny in all it’s irony, if it wasn’t for the fact that he had just caught his wife cheating. 

“Will… I… It’s not what it looks like?” Katie croaked, miserably.

“What? It’s not you fucking someone else less than two weeks after you persuaded me to stay with you, after months of trying to accuse me of being the one to screw up our marriage? Because that’s what it looks like to me…” Will said, coldly.

“I’m so sorry… I… it’s just a fling… you know, like you had with Paolo?” Katie started which made Will want to throw something at her. This was so not the same thing… She had known about Paolo and claimed to be ok with it. That it didn’t work out the way she had wanted in the end wasn’t exactly Will’s fault. 

”I… we have broken it off...“ Katie continued “He just came over so we could talk and... And… well… we just… it just happened… I’m sorry. It was the last time, I swear. Please Will…” she pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

And Will started laughing. It was probably not the sanest reaction in the book, but this situation was so fucked up he just didn’t know what to do. He was angry, of course, and he felt betrayed and hurt. And a tiny bit relieved… At least this meant he was free, right? If she thought he was going to stay with her after this, she was really mistaken. And she could hardly claim he would be an asshole for leaving her now… But then he froze. The baby… fuck. He would have to stay anyway, now definitely knowing that he would never be happy with Katie. _ Fuck _ Or… wait? Suddenly, the horrible truth dawned on him...

“It’s his, isn’t it?” He asked, because in his world this was all that mattered right now. 

“What?” Katie said, as if she didn’t even understand what he was talking about.

“The baby Katie. The fucking baby…” Will more or less screamed at her.

“Oh, God… you’re pregnant?” The naked guy had been really quiet, hiding under the covers, but now it looked like all the blood had drained from his face. 

And then Katie broke down and cried.

“I told you I had to fix my marriage. Now do you understand?” She mumbled turned to her lover “You’re not even staying in the fucking country and you’re a goddamn art student with zero income. And I’m going to lose my job when this gets out. How am I supposed to take care of a baby alone Paul? Fuck…” she hid her face in her palms

Will didn’t even have the energy to be amused that the guy, who looked just like Paolo, was almost named after him as well. The irony...

“And when were you going to tell me? You don’t think I would have noticed that it didn’t exactly have blue eyes and blond hair…? Fuck it Katie, how stupid can you get?” Will snarled at her instead.

“I don’t know Will… I… I’m really, really sorry… It just… happened. I fell for a student, it was a major, major fuck up. I know, trust me. I’ve felt like shit for ages. And then, at the trip almost two months ago, we had too much too drink and… well, I slipped up, and then it happened once more. And I was going to tell you, but then you suggested the counselling and I hoped it was just a phase. That I would get over it and we could find a way back to each other…” Katie was sobbing while the words spilled out of her like a stream of water that has been dammed up and just broke free. “And when I found out I was pregnant I panicked and decided we had to make it work. I called Paul and told him I could never see him again, that he would have to change mentors. I thought, well, you’re a good guy, right? We could learn to be happy again, you and me, and you love kids so i sort of hoped that once it was here, you’d love it anyway and you would forgive me…” she sobbed. 

Will just looked at her incredulously. He could sort of understand how it had happened. But it still didn’t excuse her behaviour and she probably saw what he was thinking written all over his face. 

“Please, Will… I don’t know what to do… Can you forgive me?” Katie pleaded.

Will almost felt sorry for her. Almost. If it hadn’t been for all those months when he had wanted to talk about their marriage and she just accused him of being the one to fuck it up. If he hadn’t been sleepless with remorse over a stupid crush and one kiss, while she was fucking someone else and lying to him about fathering a child. 

“Bye Katie… I’ll have the divorce papers ready to sign tomorrow. I have to get back to work now…” he said and turned around.

“No, please… let’s talk about this first, ok? We can see the counselor again… Don’t do anything stupid… Will” Katie still sobbed miserably. 

“Seriously? Me being stupid? I’ll tell you what? I’ll donate the money we would have thrown away on paying a counselor to try to fix this dead marriage to your baby fund…” he snarled, turning around to leave again, but then he thought of something, went back into the bedroom, threw some clothes into a bag and went into the bathroom to grab his toothbrush and razor.

“Don’t wait up…” he snapped and left the apartment. 

*

“I don’t even want to fucking talk about it…” Will huffed as Lou came into the bar where he had decided to meet her after his shift was over. They didn’t have all that long, since she started her shift a couple of hours after Will’s ended on that particular day.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to see if I can get the night off? You need company Will… and Cecil is out of town…” she said, looking worried. 

“I’ll be fine Lou. I’m a bit in shock and a bit confused, but honestly, I almost feel relief… It’s a fucking mess, but at least it’s not my mess any more…” he sighed and downed the last of the beer he had started on before Lou even showed up.

She ordered a Coke and Will ordered another beer, and they both decided on fries and Veggie burgers, which was Will’s go to choice at the pub by now. 

“You can still crash at my place if you don’t want to go home tonight, you know. Lacy won’t mind…” Lou offered.

“Thanks Lou. I packed a bag just in case… I’ll see about it later. I could just take in to a hotel too until Cecil comes back. He said I can stay on his couch for as long as I need to. I guess it will be a while before I sort this out. I mean, no matter how pissed I am at Katie, I’m not going to throw a pregnant women out on the streets, so I guess I’ll have to find something else…” Will sighed. “But seriously, let’s celebrate that I’m a free man…” he said with a somewhat strained smile and hit Lou’s glass with his own, making a loud “cling”.

Lou raised her eyebrows at him, and shook her head a bit, but in the end she just said “cheers” and smiled. If anyone, Lou knew how unhappy he had been in his marriage and she could probably understand why he felt like celebrating just as much as he felt like drowning his sorrows right now. 

Since the universe hated Will as usual, it was only three beers later when the detective duo Ramirez/Di Angelo entered the pub. And since the place was bursting full by now (and they obviously had no idea what had happened to Will) Reyna nodded when she spotted them and she made a beeline over to their table.

“Solace, Blackstone… so what are you upto tonight? Talking secrets or may we join you…?” She asked, with a pointed look at the two empty chairs beside them. Lou gave Will a look, clearly signaling that it was up to him to decide. Will honestly didn’t know. It was probably not the best night to hang out with Nico, but he also couldn’t think of a good reason not to let them sit down. And furthermore, Will was a bit tipsy, and one of the feelings he had swirling around inside of his messy mind was definitely giddiness. He was actually free to do what the fuck he wanted now, as far as he was concerned. If something would happen with Nico, well… then so be it. Also, the way him and Nico had been avoiding each other, ever since he walked in on him crying in the locker room, Will really wanted to make him feel that they were ok. Everything was good now, no need to hide anymore...

Also, with Reyna and Nico as company, Lou had to stop pestering him to talk about it.

“Um, sure… go ahead… we’re just having a beer… Or, well, I am. Lou’s working later so...” Will said after a while. He noticed Nico looked a bit suspicious, like he could read Will and knew something was off with him. He hesitated, but sat down eventually when Reyna did. 

They talked about things going on at the hospital and whatever case the detectives had been on lately for a while and they actually had a really good time, all things considered. Will had almost forgotten about his messy life when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He took one glance and put it back. He had like ten unread texts from Katie and now she had evidently started to call instead. He had a bit of a silent argument with Lou, but he didn’t pick up the phone. When it buzzed for like the fifth time in three minutes she sighed in defeat.

“Look, Will… I know you don’t want to talk to her… but… what if something happened. Maybe she did something stupid… You know she really doesn’t have anyone but you…”

“She’s got Paul…”

“Will… come on” Lou tilted her head and gave Will a condescending look.

Will sighed and answered the phone. Part of him didn’t want everyone to know about his and Katie's problems. But then again, part of him did. The horny part which was hoping that perhaps Nico did have a weak spot for him, and he would stand a chance if the detective knew he was single…? And that part was drunk right now, too, and probably lacked a bit of a filter. 

“Yes?” He said, probably sounding rather bitter.

“Will, are you ok?” Katie asked. He could hear that her voice was thick from crying. But Will was still pissed off enough to lack the pity he should feel.

“I’m fine.”

“So, can’t you come home… please? We need to talk…” she pleaded.

“There’s nothing to talk about Katie. I’m not coming back tonight.” Will sighed.

“But I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you… I don’t know what to do…” she sobbed.

“I’m sorry, but you should really have thought about that before you decided to start fucking your students then…”

“That’s so unfair Will… it’s not like that you know that.”

“Well, doesn’t matter to me what it was like to be honest. Look, Katie. I’m sure you’ll make it work, And we’ll talk. But I can’t do this right now, you have to give me some space, ok? I’m going to hang up now, I’m having dinner with Lou...”

He pocketed his phone and went back to his beer, like if he had just talked to someone about the weather. He did notice the raised eyebrows and somewhat shocked looks on their companions’ faces. True, all things considered, he probably should be more upset. But they didn’t know about his history with Katie. Damn, they didn’t even know about the baby and the hell he had been through these last couple of weeks.

“What?” He said after a while, when they still hadn’t stopped staring.

“Rough day, huh?” Reyna said, eyebrows still fixed as high up on her forehead as they could have gone. Will just shrugged and took another swig of his now lukewarm lager.

“So, you wanna talk about it…?” She continued in disbelief.

“Eh… nope. Not really…” he said and gave her a causal shrug. 

The awkward tension lasted no more than five minutes, before Will just ordered a new beer and started chatting away again. He saw the others exchange glances with Lou Ellen, but she just shrugged like she wanted to say “Humor him, ok?”. 

When Lou had to go to work, Will was nowhere near ready to call it a night, and he refused to go back to her place. Instead, she begged Nico and Reyna to put Will in a cab to either her place or some hotel before they went home. By then, Will was beyond drunk and actually in a great mood. Nico was a bit guarded, but Will was too busy laughing with Reyna to actually overthink that much. She was telling old stories from the academy and Nico kept throwing fries at her whenever she included him in any of them. At the end of the night, Nico insisted Will should take a cab back to Lou’s place, but he refused due to general embarrassment at arriving there drunk as fuck. 

“I’ll find a hotel, or I’ll sleep at the hospital.. yeah, that’s even better… I can sleep in my office…” he reasoned, intelligent as one gets after like ten pitchers. 

Nico sighed and shook his head. “You’ll do no such thing Solace, you’ll end up mugged in some shabby hotel or you’ll get fired for showing up drunk at the hospital. Come on, I'll take you back to my place. You can crash on my couch…” 

Nico and Reyna exchanged some hushed words but Nico just waved her away with an annoyed shrug and they both helped Will to his feet. Will had no idea how he even got to Nico’s apartment. He just knew one thing - he was going to spend the night at Nico Di Angelo’s place. So, ok, Nico may have claimed to take him in out of mercy, but Will would try to make the best of it. He wouldn’t be Will Solace if he couldn't seduce one harmless detective, now, would he? 

As soon as they arrived at Nico’s apartment Will flashed Nico his famous TeraWatt Solace smile, the one that was known to melt the hearts of both girls and the occasional guy back in High School. And he started working on seducing Nico. At least, that was what he had intended to do. In reality, he may have been a tiny bit too drunk to actually have an idea what he was even talking about. Or how the words were supposed to be pronounced. Funny thing, words, really. Who invented them anyway..? Oh, but that wasn’t important - Nico, Nico was important. He was hot… goddamn shit was he hot, even with that amused smirk on his face. Will just wanted to kiss that stupid smirk away...

“You’re hot…” Will blurted out, grinning stupidly at Nico.

“I know…” Nico deadpanned.

“I mean it… I think you’re like… wow…”

“Sure you do Solace, come on, let’s put you to bed…”

“Yeah, take me to bed Nico… I waaaant you”

“I’ll put you to sleep Solace… Damn, you’re heavy…”

“Do you think I’m attractive?”

“I think you’re wasted…”

“Come on, give me a kiss…”

“There will be no kissing Solace...and stop pouting”

“Come on… don’t be like that. I can do whatever I want now… And I want to do yooooouuuu…”

“I’m sure you think so Solace, but it’s not happening.” 

“Why not? You like sex, don’t you? You told us you like sex once, remember?”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll sleep with anyone who crosses my path”

“But I’m not anyone… I’m Dr Solace, remember… Have you ever slept with a doctor before? I promise you I’m the best at finding all thee good spots…”

“Goddamnit Solace, why are you being so difficult…?”

“I’m not difficult. I’m horny… And I want you Nico, please... I know you think I’m attractive, come on… admit it.”

“Look, Will. It doesn’t matter what I think about you, ok? You’re drunk, you feel betrayed by your wife, you’re pissed at her and you want revenge. I get that, but I’m not your guy, ok? You will sleep this off and you will talk things out with your wife tomorrow. Maybe you can still fix things with her, I’m not going to be the one who ruins it for you, just forget it, ok?” Nico’s voice sounded exasperated and Will was fearing his charms may not be working the way he had hoped tonight. He dropped down on the couch and folded his arms across his chest instead, glaring at Nico..

“But what if I don’t want to fix things with her? What if I want you?” He pouted.

“Solace, just… drink some water and go to sleep… Ok?” Nico sighed, shaking his head slightly and looking at Will in an almost pleading way. He put a glass of water beside Will on the coffee table and made a quick escape for his bedroom, after pointing out where the bathroom was, should Will need it. 

Will didn’t go to sleep for a long time. He lay awake and watched the room spin while he sulked about the fact that Nico didn’t want to sleep with him. If he had been a better person, perhaps he would have been worried about Katie instead. Or he would have been mourning his failed marriage.Yeah, that would have been reasonable. Instead, 98% of his brain was focused on the fact that Nico Di Angelo was sleeping on the other side of the door he could see from his spot on the couch while the other two were concentrating on not falling off the couch. Fuck, he was a mess.

.oOo.

The first time Nico Di Angelo made Will breakfast, he was worried one may actually die from embarrassment. 

When Will woke up that next morning, his head hurt. Badly. He groaned and turned around in his bed. Only, he wasn’t in his bed at all. He was lying on a plush, comfy dark grey couch in a big living room he had never seen before. There was a big glass of water and two Advil on the table beside him. He took the pills and drank the water before he put his head on the pillow again, groaning some more and trying to remember… He had been upset yesterday. About something that seemed important. Katie… The baby… Fuck. No, wait. She had slept with some dude. The baby wasn’t his… he told Katie he wanted a divorce. He was free… and he had invited Lou to celebrate at the pub. And the he had shown up… Nico…_ Oh dear god. Nico… _ what had he done? 

“Morning Solace…” the annoyingly handsome face of Nico Di Angelo showed up in the doorway, a small smirk on his lips. “Feeling well?” 

“Oh fuck… what the hell happened yesterday? How much did I drink…? Shit…” Will muttered to himself. When he saw Nico’s lips twitch a bit, a feeling of panic crept up his spine. He distinctly remembered coming on to Nico, and it hadn’t been subtle… Fuck, what the hell had happened? He had wanted to sleep with Nico for ages, and he would be very disappointed if it turned out he did and couldn’t even remember it. That would be bad…

“Coffee? I’m guessing you’re a bit tired today huh?” Nico gave him a small smile and put a mug down in front of Will.

“What happened…?” Will croaked. “We… didn’t….” he gave Nico a pointed look, signalling at the space between them with his hand “...you know?”

Nico’s lips actually twitched at this question, and he looked like he wanted to torture Will a bit by letting him hang.

“Don’t worry Solace, you just needed a place to crash. Besides, you were practically dead by the time I got you up here and I’m not really into that sort of shit…” he smirked once again. 

Images started to come back to Will, and they were not making him happy.

“Shit… I came on to you, didn’t I? Damn… I’m so sorry Nico, I was a really sad excuse of a human being last night…” he groaned and hid his face in his palms. Yeah, he remembered now. He had practically begged Nico to sleep with him, but the man had turned him down. 

“Don’t worry about it Will. You had a rough day yesterday if I’m not mistaken…” Nico gave him a reassuring smile, but Will saw something flash before his eyes. Like… disappointment? Why, though? Was he angry at Will and tried to hide it? And he had said Will, not Solace. That was almost a first… and that smile, it wasn’t Nico at all. The illusion only lasted a second or so, and then Nico was back to his usual sassy self.

“Why don’t I make you some breakfast and then we’ll forget about that whole thing, ok?” Nico said. “Please tell me you don’t have to work today, or I’ll be sorry for your patients…” 

“Yeah… thanks. I was supposed to work a shift tonight, but I may actually call in sick…” Will sighed. “It wouldn’t even be much of a lie, I feel like shit…” he added, throwing himself back on the couch. 

“You can use the shower if you like while I make some scrambled eggs and toast. Or what do you eat for breakfast?” Nico offered.

“Wow, that sounds great. Thanks Nico, I truly don’t deserve this you know…” he said.

“Nope, you don’t… but you’ll owe me, and that may come in handy someday” Nico winked at him, making his heart skip a beat. How was it fair that the guy was so damn good looking first thing in the morning? His hair was a complete mess, tied up into a small bun at the back of his head, with black strands sticking out all over the place, and he was wearing gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips, and a black tank top with a skull print, showing off his sculpted chest and his tattooed arms in a very tempting way. Will swallowed hard and decided to take Nico up on the offer to use his shower. 

He really had to let this stupid crush go. Nico had made it clear yesterday. He wasn’t interested in Will that way, right? Somewhere, deep down, Will had hoped that once he was a free man he might actually have a chance with Nico. Even if it was just sex… But it didn’t seem that would happen, and it was probably for the best. Because Will knew it wouldn’t just be sex, not for him. And it would end with him getting his heart broken for sure. But still, holy goddamn fuck, that guy was too hot for his own good

“Nico, can I borrow a towel… I didn’t bring any…” 

“Sure, there are clean ones in the cabinet, top shelf.” 

Will came out of the bathroom with one of Nico’s towels wrapped around his hip, hair still dripping slightly. He stuck his head into the kitchen and thanked Nico again, which evidently startled him enough to drop the spatula he was holding. He cursed and blushed slightly, peeking up at Will from under his long eyelashes. Damn…so cute. Will had to rush out of there, or he would have sported an embarrassing tent any second. He should have taken care of that tension in the shower, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to stand in Nico Di Angelo’s shower and jerk off. It would have felt too weird.

He managed to force the unwanted arousal back and quickly found some clean clothes in his bag. At least he had been smart enough to pack for a couple of days in the middle of his rage yesterday… He pulled on a pair of washed out jeans and a bright blue t-shirt and put them on before he went back into Nico’s kitchen. 

The apartment was absolutely beautiful, although sparsely decorated. The big living room had panorama windows facing the ocean with a breathtaking view. Will didn’t remember exactly where they were, since everything about the night before was a bit fuzzy around the edges. But he knew he must be in one of the fancier parts of town considering the closeness to the ocean. There was no dining table at all, only the big couch where Will had slept and a couple of armchairs in front of a big tv screen mounted on the wall. There was a whole wall filled with bookshelves opposite from the screen, and a small desk full of papers, candy wrappers and old coffee mugs in a corner. The furniture, curtains and carpets were all in earthy tones, like different shades of stone, clay and sand. It was tasteful, but not extravagant, and the style was very far from his own living room, which was more or less a mess of contradictions where Katie’s designer furniture, well matched pillows and other frills tried to cohabitate with his favourite possessions; all of them probably objectively ugly, but also holding a lot of sentimental value for him. Like stuffed animals, an old crochet blanket his grandmother had once made and a lot of pictures from his childhood and the college years. Somehow, that living room was like an analogy of their marriage. They had compromised about everything since they never made the same choices, and the end result was something that just didn’t really make sense. Like if someone had violated all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle with a chainsaw to make them fit together. Forced - that was the word for it. The style of their apartment was forced in just the same way their marriage had been. How the hell had he ever even let it get this far?

He stopped thinking about his miserable life the second he entered the kitchen though. Nico stood leaning against the counter, looking adorably domestic with his hair tied back and a kitchen towel hanging from the hem of his sweaters. He had somehow managed to whip up the most amazing breakfast, complete with freshly cut fruit for the pancakes and the best coffee Will had ever had.

“Wow, that’s a really good cup of coffee…” Will mused and gave Nico an appreciative smile over the edge of his mug. Then he had to chuckle a bit at the sight of Nico’s mug. It was a white one, with black letters reading “Coffee is coming” under the Stark house symbol from Game of Thrones. “Love your mug…” he smiled and Nico gave it a glance and returned Will’s smile. 

“Should have given you this one perhaps…” he smirked and opened the cabinet to show Will another one with the text “All men must die”.

“Oh god, I think I’m in love with you…” Will sighed, in awe. He saw Nico’s eyes widen for just a second, and he felt the tips of his ears heat up as he realized what he just said. It was just one of those things he said, like all of the time. But usually it didn’t mean anything other than “That’s cool”. Only now, as he blurted it out to Nico like an idiot, it happened to have a double meaning.

“So do you like Game of Thrones…?” He quickly asked Nico, trying to play it cool. 

“Yeah, I mean… it’s definitely on my top five list of series at the moment. Though I hated how they…”

“Don’t spoil!” Will exclaimed. “I haven’t seen the last season-and-a-half yet...”

“You haven’t seen the last season!?” Nico asked incredulously and Will just shrugged.

“Never had the time, really… Katie hates it…” he muttered into his coffee. He really didn’t want to talk about his wife right now...

“Wow. That’s… terrible…” Nico looked shocked and Will snorted out a small laugh. The man looked even more outraged than he had last night when Will had outed Katies infidelity to them all. Perhaps, in Nico’s book, not liking Game of Thrones was a worse personality trait than the habit of fooling around a bit behind your partner’s back.

“Ok, Solace…” Nico sat down his mug with emphasis. “I think you will have to call in sick today after all, we’re having a Game of Thrones marathon…” 

Will was more or less in heaven that day (if a trip to heaven included a throbbing headache). He was a free man, he was with Nico and he could watch all the Game of Thrones he wanted to. They watched three episodes before they even cleared away the brunch, and two more before they decided they needed to get snacks and beer. (Although I’m going to restrict the amount of alcohol you consume Solace, we don’t want an encore of yesterday’s performance….). As they walked down to the local Stop and Go, they were laughing and arguing animatedly about their favourite characters and episodes, as well as the relative hotness of the actors. It was carefree and easy to hang out with Nico like this. It was like all the awkwardness and distance that had snaked its way into their relationship lately was gone, and only the good things remained. The way will loved Nico’s sarcastic, dry humour. And the way Nico seemed to enjoy listening to Will’s passionate ramblings about all things between heaven and earth. The way sparks flew when they touched and Will got this warm feeling inside every time their eyes locked.

Will made a conscious decision not to be too flirty in order to avoid making the other man uncomfortable. But he couldn’t really help himself if he sometimes extended his hand for a brief touch, or held Nico’s eyes for a bit too long, or flashed him a loving smile every now and then. It was all his subconscious acting on its own really, and Will was both thrilled and a bit scared to notice that familiar tension slowly building up between them again. A couple of times, like when they stood too close in the store and reached out for the same bag of chips and their hands brushed together, Will did notice Nico’s eyes flicker briefly to Will’s lips and he couldn’t help but wonder if he could feel it too? Did Nico think about that kiss they had once shared in the strip club? Because Will sure did. A lot.

After another couple of hours of murderous plots, mele fights, dragons and too much nakedness to be comfortable when sharing a couch with a crush, they started to get hungry and Will decided dinner was on him since Nico had let him crash at his place, and made breakfast and everything. They went to a local Italian place Nico knew, and Will was almost enchanted by the way everything tasted like a slice of heaven. Nico ordered for them since he knew the menu and they shared a bottle of the best red wine Will had ever had. When dessert came, they both actually moaned loudly, because that Tiramisu was like a true food orgasm for sure. 

“Oh God, this is better than sex…” Will moaned without thinking about who he was talking to for a fraction of a second. As soon as he realized what he had said, he felt his cheeks heat up slightly and he didn’t dare looking at Nico. Mentioning sex in his presence was dangerous, considering the romantic setting they were in and the tension that had slowly built up during the day, culminating with this amazing meal. 

“Hm, I don’t know… perhaps your sexlife has been lacking a bit, but it’s close, I’ll give you that much…” Nico answered cooly with a twinkle in his eyes. Will just rolled his eyes at Nico and smiled, grateful that the Italian didn’t make a big deal out of his little word fart. The tension had grown almost unbearable though, and Will had the feeling it would have to blow soon in one way or another. He looked at Nico, and their eyes locked as the other man put a spoon of chocolate cream to his pink, pouty lips and licked it off. It was probably the most sensual thing Will had ever witnessed in his whole life. He had to look away and count to one hundred, cheeks heating, to avoid getting an erection right then and there, but his heart was still beating a little too quickly in his chest even as they paid and left the restaurant. 

The enchantment still hadn’t lifted as they stood outside in the warm summer evening, the scent of flowers hanging heavily in the air and the crickets chirping from the park across the street. Nico’s hand brushed against Will’s briefly and as the dark beauty turned towards him to say something, the last rays of sunshine making his ebony hair glow orange and his long lashes cast shadows over his face. Will’s heart stopped for a second at the sight, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to kiss Nico so badly it hurt. _ Fuck this _, he thought to himself as he leaned in and captured Nico’s lips with his own, wrapping his arms around the Italian. 

At first, Nico let out a small whimper and leaned into the kiss. His lips were so soft and lush that Will could have died right there and been happy with his life. When his tongue brushed against those wonderful lips, Nico parted them slightly to let him in. When their tongues met, the explosion from the strip club happened again and electricity flowed through Will’s body once again. Only, it was so much better this time, because he was (almost) sober, and it was for real and it was perfect. That is, until Nico pushed him away gently and cleared his throat. Will pouted a bit at the loss of contact, and looked down into those large, dark, beautiful eyes.

“Will… I… I’m sorry. I can’t do this…” Nico said, his voice almost a whisper. He sounded so different. So vulnerable and a bit sad, and Will’s heart broke a little. Not only from the rejection, but for making Nico feel like that. He cursed himself internally. Why did he always have to ruin everything? Now Nico wouldn’t probably even want to be friends with him anymore. Or at least they would be back to weeks of cold distance between them.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I seem to be reading the signals wrong all the time when it comes to you. Wishful thinking probably…” Will sighed, a bit deflated. 

Nico looked up at him, an expression that signalled something like surprise and confusion perhaps. He was hard to read.

“No… I didn’t mean it like that. I guess I may be the one sending you invitations without really meaning to. I just can’t help it… I… really like you, Will.” He continued earnestly, ending in a small sigh, like he was thinking. “Yep, that was that. I said it.”

“You do? But…” Will started to object. He wanted to ask what the problem was, but Nico didn’t let him finish.

“Look… Like I said yesterday, although I don’t think you remember that part… I can’t be your revenge fuck. I know you’re pissed off at Katie and you want to get back at her, or just use this opportunity to have some fun. And as tempted as I am to take advantage of that situation I can’t, for two reasons...”

Will just stood there blinking stupidly. Was that what Nico thought? That he just wanted to use him for revenge or a rebound sex? He opened his mouth to protest, but Nico held up his hand signalling for the blonde to let him finish. “Firstly, I don’t want to be the one to wreck your marriage. You’re going to have a baby Will. And as mad as you are at your wife right now, everyone makes mistakes. Perhaps the idea freaked her out too and she fucked up? I think you owe her and yourself and your child a chance to fix things.” 

At this point, Nico had to press his hand to Will’s mouth to stop him from interrupting. “Please let me finish Will. This is hard for me to admit, so you’ll only get one chance to hear it. Even if things don't work out for you guys, I don’t want to be your rebound guy. You were right yesterday when you implied I usually don’t mind sleeping around... but you’re different. I really like you, and I would just end up getting burned if I let myself play with that fire…” 

“Are you done?” Will said, impatiently, running a hand through his messy curls. He had so many things he wanted to say it felt like his head was likely to blow up any second. Nico just shrugged.

“First of all - did I really accuse you of sleeping around…?” He said astounded.

“Not in those exact words perhaps but… Don’t worry. I took no offence…” Nico actually gave him a small smile and another shrug. 

“And second of all - how the hell did you know Katie is pregnant?” 

“Well… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. It was an accident really. I overheard some nurses talking about someone who really didn’t seem to be happy about becoming a father, and then when I found you crying in the gym I kinda assumed they were talking about you…” Nico gave him a sheepish smile.

“Hm… Well, they were wrong anyway. I’m not going to be a father Nico. The baby isn’t mine… Katie has been cheating for months.”

“Oh fuck. I’m sorry Will. I guess I understand why you weren’t all that happy about it then…” he put a friendly hand on Will’s shoulder, but the look on his face said he was suffering, perhaps even more than Will himself.

“No, no… you still don’t get it. At that point, I thought it was mine and it was kind of my doom. You see, what you don’t get is that I have been trying to get out of this marriage for ages but Katie has been guilt tripping me to stay with her. It got to the point where I told her I wanted a divorce after trying counseling, which didn’t work. And then she comes along and says she’s pregnant which was sort of the nail in the coffin. I guess I should have realized something was wrong since we’ve hardly slept together for like a year, but there have been a few occasions and she claimed they had miscalculated the timing… And well, I guess I’m not that smart. Blond and blue eyed and all of that you know…”

“Holy fuck that’s… but… why? Why would she force you to stay if she’s seeing someone else…?” 

“Oh… Money, status, security... I don’t know. The guy she’s been seeing is a student of hers, so it’s not like they could come out. I don’t even know if he’s legal. And evidently, he’s an exchange student and is supposed to return home soon so she probably didn’t think it would lead anywhere. And when she got pregnant she panicked.“ Will sighed before he added “She’s not a bad person, really… Scared, and a bit selfish, yes. But I don’t even blame her for the cheating, our marriage has been dead for a long time. I’m just really pissed off that she’s been lying to me like that. Making me believe I was going to be a father… that was...low…”

“Oh… so… you’re saying your marriage is really over? Like, there’s really no hope for you guys? You wouldn’t even want her back?” 

“Exactly. My marriage is dead.” Will said with emphasis, and then his lips twitched a bit. This situation wasn’t really funny, but somehow all these feelings made him a bit giddy and he had always had the bad habit of masquing his emotions with humor, so he continued “E’s passed on, e’s no more, e’s expired and gone to meet its maker, it is an ex-marriage…” 

Nico snorted out a little laugh. “Monty Python? Really? I’m going to have to do something about your sense of humor…” 

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself…” Will shrugged. “But the point is Nico… I really like you too. Like, I’ve had a crush on you since the first time you tried to bite my head off while bleeding all over my office… And… I know that you don’t do relationships and all that…and for the longest of times I thought it was best if I stayed away for my own sanity. But I can’t, really. I’d be prepared to accept what you can offer, even if it’s just being friends with benefits or the occasional round of shameless sex…” he gave Nico a small wink and stepped a bit closer to cup the dark man’s face with his palm. “Or if you just want to be friends, I guess I could try to do that too. Just, don’t push me away Nico…” he looked deep into those dark chocolate eyes and tried to get the message across as best as he could without actually saying the _ I think I love you _ that was dancing around at the top of his mind. 

Nico was quiet for a little too long, and Will grew impatient. He had hoped for some kind of reaction to his little speech. Like, _ I love you Will, let’s get married… _ or just _ I’ve been waiting my whole life for this, let’s go home and fuck _. If nothing else, Nico could just reject him and tell him to fuck off or something (although he sincerely hoped not). The silence was almost unbearable. But Nico was just frozen on the spot, like if Will was speaking a different language that took him a really long time to translate in his mind. Will almost opened his mouth to speak again, but Nico silenced him efficiently by crashing their lips together.

The kiss was hungry and passionate, almost a bit desperate, like a mess of tongues and lips and teeth. They stumbled around for a bit and ended up pressed against a tree in the park they had been walking through. Things heated up pretty quickly, and there were hands inside of shirts and in other places definitely not appropriate for public places. When they broke apart to gasp for air, they were both panting heavily.

“Not that I mind the PDA, but perhaps we should go back to your place…?” Will managed before working completely against his own suggestion by starting to kiss down Nico’s neck.

“Yeah… No… wait…” Nico was mumbling incoherent words in a husky voice, before he cleared his throat again and put a hand on Will’s chest. “Will… slow down a bit. I… As much as I have wanted this for months, I have to stop you. I’m sorry…”

“Oh… oh, it’s ok if you don’t want to. I don’t want to push you….” Will said, still hazy with lust but also realising he was coming on too strongly again. Damn, why didn’t he have the slightest ounce of self control when it came to this man?

“No… no… it’s just. It’s a lot to take in… I don’t want to do anything stupid and ruin this...whatever it is… ok?” 

Will nodded, but he probably looked as confused as he felt. What did Nico mean? Didn’t he want to ruin their friendship with sex? Well, perhaps he was right, but that didn’t make it any less of a tragedy…

“It’s just…” Nico continued, locking eyes with Will again, while interlacing their fingers in a very affectionate way. “I don’t know how to do this… I’ve spent months trying to push away how I feel about you thinking it would never happen. And now… I just haven’t had time to think about this. To let it sink in, make some decisions… The only thing I know is that there’s something special about you Will Solace. If we start something, I don’t know what it would lead to, but I know I wouldn’t want it to be just sex.” 

Now, it was Will’s turn to be speechless. This was too much, his heart was swelling into absurd proportions in his chest. Was Nico saying what Will thought he was saying? That he was interested in actually starting something with him? It was too good to be true… his oversized heart pounded madly against his rib cage as Nico continued after a while.

“If I ever wanted to try this relationship thing with someone, it would be with you.” he said and Will had to concentrate hard not to break down and cry. “You’re the one I want to get things right with Will...”

Will couldn’t speak. He wrapped his arms around Nico and hugged him tightly while kissing the top of his head. They stood like that for a long time, and Will could feel Nico’s heart pounding too. He took in the wonderful scent of musky spices and pomegranate schampo that was Nico’s and he felt like he had died and gone to heaven for real.

“I just don’t want to lead you on…” Nico said after a while. “I can’t promise you I can make it work Solace. Like I said, I’m not a commitment guy, usually. And I have no idea where this will lead… But I just know I don’t want to fuck it up.” 

Will just smiled a stupidly goofy smile back at him. He wished he could play it cool, but he was just too emotional right now.

“Don’t worry di Angelo, you don’t have to promise me anything…” he said reassuringly. “I mean, I have no idea what I’m doing either. I just came out of an eight year long relationship. The divorce papers aren’t even signed yet… I don’t want to rush things either. Perhaps we could just take things really slow and see what happens?” Will suggested, desperate not to sound too pushy. But Jesus fucking Christ, did he want this to work… 

To be honest, he probably had never wanted anything more in his entire life than to be with Nico di Angelo, in whatever way possible. With Katie, one thing just led to another throughout their whole relationship, and even if he had been the one to propose, he strongly suspected Katie had somehow been sending him subliminal messages orchestrating the whole thing. And there had been the pressure from his family to settle down and from all their peers and friends who had expected them to date, to move in together and finally to marry. Not to mention that he had mostly lived in the future, looking forward to how things would be once he had finished his studies, once they had bought their first house, started a family, etc. With Nico, it was different. It was all about what Will wanted, right here, right now.

“So… where are we going from here?” Nico asked, a bit uncertain. 

“I don’t know… We still have three episodes left of season seven, right?” Will smiled back at him. “Let’s start with those, shall we?”

.oOo.


	2. Epilogue

“Are you ok there handsome?” Will gave his boyfriend a questioning glance. Something was a bit off with Nico today. He was lost in thought in a way that was unusual for him. Will squeezed his hand gently to let him know he was there for him, like he always did if Nico was nervous or down for some reason.

“Sure, I’m a gay man hanging out in a Catholic Church with my boyfriend, at his ex-wife’s kid’s christening… why wouldn’t I be ok? Must be the least awkward situation ever heard of…”

“Don’t worry about it Neeks… Katie has specifically told the priest she will make a terrible scene if anyone so much as looks at us wrong…” Will smiled at him.

“Yeah, and that woman can make a scene, trust me…” Paul surprised them from behind, a small smirk on his lips.

“Don’t I know it…” Will nodded sympathetically, but unfortunately for him, Katie had snuck up on them too.

“Oh no, you do not get to do that thing you two…”

“What thing, babe?” Paul asked innocently.

“The thing were you bond over how difficult I am. Not ok…” Katie huffed. “Come on Paul, we have to get ready...”

The ceremony was beautiful, naturally. The baby was cute and bubbly and made an adorable face at the water on her head, just like it should be. Everyone cooed at all the right places, and nobody dared comment on Will’s or Nico’s presence or their relationship, just as expected. Katie had made it clear to everyone among their mutual friends, and to her family, already at the hastily arranged wedding nine months prior that Will was not to blame for what had happened between them.

Will didn’t really agree though. He knew he had played his part in the events that led to the divorce. Katie had also told everyone that it was really thanks to him that she and Paul could get married so he could stay in the country. Both by letting Katie keep the apartment and by helping Paul find a job through Lou Ellen’s wife, who needed extra help in the store she was running. It wasn’t a well paid job, but it was enough for them to make it through the pregnancy and Katie’s maternity leave, and Paul would finish his studies when Katie was back at her job again. Anyway, it had been the least he could do for his ex wife.

When they got out of the church, Nico and Will decided to make a detour and take a walk to the reception. As happy as they were that everything had worked out for Katie and Paul and the baby in the end, they both felt they needed some space right now. Nico since he didn’t much appreciate socialising with strangers in general, and Will because he sometimes felt a bit suffocated by the way Katie was trying to be his best friend. And also, their old friends could be a bit much. To be honest, he couldn’t really believe they had been his only friends once… how had he survived?

“Do you think you will regret it?” Nico asked, all of a sudden.

“What? Not sticking around to raise another man’s child?” Will asked, but he knew what Nico wanted to say.

“No… I mean… not settling down with a woman. I mean, even if it didn’t work out with Katie… it would have been so much easier for you. If you’d ever want to have kids and stuff.” 

“No Nico, I love you ten times more than I have ever loved any woman… I’ll never regret a single day I spend with you. And the sex is much better too, it helps…” 

“Fuck off Solace, you’re such a dork…” Nico elbowed him in the side, but there was a smile playing on his lips that he didn’t manage to hide all that well.

They walked together in silence for a while, holding hands. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. Not at all. In fact, this was one of the best things about his relationship with Nico (apart from, well… you know). They didn’t need to talk all the time just to fill out the space. True, it had been a bit of a bumpy road to get to where they were now, but that might not be all that surprising, all things considered. Now, though, they were as comfortable with each other in silence as in deep conversation; when they were goofing around, when they were bickering or when they were making love. It all just worked out and Will was serious about not having regretted for a second taking a chance with the strikingly handsome detective. He may be somewhat grumpy and antisocial but also extremely loving and loyal once you broke through his defences. Not to mention always full of surprises, funny, intelligent, brave and hot as fuck.

“She’s kinda cute though, right?” Nico said after some minutes of comfortable silence.

“Who? Katie?”

“No, stupid… The baby…” Nico huffed.

“Oh… what? Are you telling me that mr badass detective Di Angelo has a soft spot for cute little babies…?” Will teased.

“No… I was just wondering... do you ever think about it? Having kids I mean?” Nico asked, cheeks turning slightly pink like if he was embarrassed by this whole conversation.

“I… well… sure. It happens… It’s not like I need it to be happy. But maybe someday, I guess I wouldn’t mind if you were up to it…” Will said, causally. It wasn’t all true. In reality, he really wanted to have kids, but he also didn’t want to put any pressure on Nico. It wouldn’t be all that easy for them for starters. Both the fact that they couldn’t have biological children, as well as their jobs (especially Nico’s) were kind of making things complicated. And they only just moved in together two months ago, which was a big step for Nico, Will knew that. In fact, one year ago, he wouldn’t have thought they would ever make it this far, considering how scared Nico had been about anything even resembling commitment. But in the end, he was the one who had initiated all the major steps in their relationship, like asking Will out on their first official date, asking him to be his boyfriend and finally suggesting them moving in together. Now, here he was again, initiating the conversation about someday having kids. That man never ceased to surprise Will.

“It wouldn’t be all that easy of course…” Nico said, nodding a bit, mostly to himself. “And I would have to take a position off the streets. Perhaps something on the investigative force. I can’t be in the middle of the action all the time if I’m a dad, right?”

“No, I guess not…” Will affirmed, completely astonished that Nico seemed to have given the matter so much thought. 

“And we’d have to get a donor…If we didn’t want to adopt of course…” he continued.

“Yeah, but I don’t think that’s the problem. The hard part would be finding a surrogate if we want biological kids.” 

“Oh… No, that’s not a problem. Both Hazel and Piper have offered…” Nico said matter of factly, like this wasn’t a big deal at all.

“What!?” Will stopped short in his tracks. “When?” 

“Ages ago… before we even met. And, well, I kinda asked them if it was still a valid offer, should that day come, and they both said yes.”

“Oh my god…” Will said, not able to conceal the giddy feeling bubbling inside of him. “You really did think about this a lot?” 

“Yeah… I mean… once I decided to settle down… I guess it did cross my mind. Perhaps not right away. I mean, we just moved in together, and I’d like to be able to enjoy having you all to myself for a while. Like, naked Sunday won’t be possible anymore with kids in the house I guess… And you just confessed you’re stringing me along for the amazing sex, so…” Nico teased and leaned in to kiss the laugh off of Will’s face. 

The kiss was gentle and full of affection in a way that wasn’t exactly unheard of, but also not that common for them. Usually, things tended to heat up pretty quickly once they got going, which is why they avoided too much PDA. After that time they got caught in the storage closet at the hospital and basically had to bribe Cecil not to tell on them, they had decided to keep things PG in public. This time though, it was just love being expressed between them.

“Of course, we’d have to get married first…” Nico said when they broke apart.

“Yeah. We wouldn’t want to live in sin. What would people say?” Will said with a smirk, voice heavy with sarcasm. Luckily, they lived in an open minded city, but bigotry wasn’t exactly unheard of here either. Nobody who knew them at all ever said anything negative though. It wasn’t like you wanted to piss off the top surgeon or the most appreciated detective on the local police force. It could have consequences, should you ever need to have your kidney replaced or your family protected. 

“Har har. You’re just so funny… but I’m serious though…” Nico said and Will’s body reacted before his brain did, making his heart stop before he even understood what was happening as Nico pulled out a small box from his pocket. 

“Perhaps I should have done some romantic crap, like dinner and candles and shit… but you know that’s not my strong suit Solace. I’ll buy you dinner at the Italian later and fuck your brains out if you say yes though…” Nico said, opening the box to reveal two rings. One was gold with a black pattern in some kind of Norse or Celtic style. The other was identical, but with the colors inverted. They were both beautiful, perfect, like they symbolized the way the two of them completed each other, seamlessly weaving their different lives together to form a whole that was just so much more beautiful than the parts. 

“And you say you’re not a romantic… I think you’ve been holding out on me Nico…” Will flashed him a smile that was supposed to be teasing, but that probably showed exactly how much he was screaming inside, bouncing up and down on his metaphorical heels, impatiently waiting to have that ring on his finger.

“So… what do you say Solace?” Nico asked, fidgeting nervously with the box.

“What? You didn’t actually ask me anything yet…”

“You’re really going to make me say it, are you?” Nico groaned. “You’re the worst…” 

“If you expect an answer…” Will replied, knowing fully well that the smile on his face had already given Nico all the answer he needed.

“I told you once that you’re the one I want to get it right with, remember?” Nico started and Will knew this was going to be one of those rare occasions when his boyfriend dropped the sarcasm and the act and showed his true feelings and his vulnerable side. And yes, that meant Will was going to cry…

”Back then I didn’t actually think it would be possible, and half of me was hitting myself mentally for even thinking I could be happy in a relationship, being with one man, for the rest of my life. But, well. Turns out even the best of us can be wrong...or at least half wrong. Now I know it can happen. And yeah, the sex is great so it helps, I’ll give you that. Anyways, I was wondering if you may feel the same way, and if so… would you perhaps be prepared to make it official and make an honest man out of me?” 

Nico made a brief pause, fixating Will with his dark chocolate eyes. “What I’m trying to ask is… William Solace, will you marry me?” 

And even looking back, years later, comparing it to the night they got together, to the wedding and to when their kids were born; this exact moment was the happiest moment of Will’s entire life.


End file.
